The Perfect Bucket List
by TobiasLover4Ever
Summary: It is amazing how blind I was, I lost time thinking that the inevitable would never happen. But I was wrong and that was the worst mistake of my life. Everything has a solution, except death.
1. You're too young to let the world break

**The Perfect Bucket List**

**Chapter 1: You're too young to let the world break you.**

**Disclaimer: All characters and Divergent Trilogy Plot belong to Veronica Roth. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**POV: I will be using Tris, but if I use Tobias I will warn you I swear.**

**Description: It is amazing how blind I was, I lost time thinking that the inevitable would never happen. But I was wrong and that was the worst mistake of my life. Everything has a solution, except death.**

**A/N: This story is completely apart from Divergent Trilogy. The characters are OOC. Before you say anything, READ it, I know you will like it.**

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"Maybe I didn't treat you

Quite as good as I should have

Maybe I didn't love you

Quite as often as I could have

Little things I should have said and done

I just never took the time" –Elvis Presley

x.x.x.x.x.x

"I'm so sorry Tris" Dr. Mathews repeated. I was sitting with lost eyes, still not falling into account. I couldn't believe it.

"But, Doctor, what happened?" I asked after a few minutes of silence. I was confused.

"It's a terminal decease" She said with her head down. "I don't know how you got it; there have been only a few cases" _the only thing missing me_. I complained to myself. Only_ I_ could infect myself with an almost unknown disease. "Tris, it is possible that you didn't caught it, there's also the possibility that you brought the disease in your body inheritance. How did your mother die?"

"She died in a car accident" Caleb spoke first. He was worse than me.

"Oh, I'm sorry. But I promise I'll do what I can to find a cure, day and night cometh investigating." I nodded weakly. I felt a lump in my throat, the kind that makes your voice disappear; my face was awash in tears and my head full of depressing thoughts.

"What precautions should she take?" My brother asked. Dr. Mathews coughed and got comfortable in her chair.

"All I know is that your lungs will decline slowly, so I recommend you not to run, not that you're going to run out of air, but better be safe than sorry"

"Yes, I'm not someone who runs much" I admitted "but I have asthma, will it get worse?"

"Don't worry, perhaps within a month or more you'll start to feel the weakness, the truth is I don't know much about it"

"If you don't find a cure" Caleb spoke with his voice broken. "How long does she have?"

"A few months" Dr. Mathews confessed. I let out a sob and got up to hug Caleb. He took me in his arms and told said words of encouragement in my ear. _God, that couldn't be happening to me._ I let go of my brother and took my bag.

"I think it's time to go" I said in a hard voice. Caleb rose from his seat...

"If I find something new it's for sure I will call you"

"Thanks" Dr. Mathews got up from her chair and gave me a big hug. She said goodbye to Caleb with a handshake and we headed to the car in silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts.

I called Susan, my best friend, and told her everything between sobs. We got home and she was already waiting for us outside. She received my brother with a tender kiss and a hug. She cried in his arms but Caleb didn't say anything because he was still in shock.

Such a relationship was the one I had always dreamed of. They loved each other and I knew it beforehand. Caleb was three years older than both of us but that didn't matter. He respected and loved her too. They had been in love since the age of eleven. And I was sure they would get married someday.

She pulled away from him and ran to me. We hit hard and hugged as if I were to die tomorrow. Well, it wasn't tomorrow but if in a few months.

She murmured fast and sobbing things, and we spent some time crying. I didn't even realize when Caleb got inside the house.

We decided to go to the park to clear our minds and stop being so sad.

"I want the middle one!" We screamed at the same time, running to the swings. We were on a discussion until both decided to sit on the side ones. Soon we forgot the issue and started talking about anything.

We knew each other since we were five, and since the first day we became best friends. We were always together, Caleb, her and me. Like triplets. We played all day every day. Until Susan fell in love with Caleb she began to be different with him. Caleb had confessed to me that he also liked her. But I was little and didn't know what to do. I had never liked anyone and couldn't give advice. Now that I'm thinking about it, I would have saved a lot of time if I had told Caleb that she liked him too.

We tried to make that moment a happy one, but when I remembered all my plans, all my dreams and realized that maybe I would never be able to achieve anything I collapsed again. It wasn't something I could fight off. It was the biggest feeling of disappointment and sadness I had felt ever.

I knew people said to put on a brave face in moments like that, but how could I have a brave face on when I would die in a few months? It was simply impossible to stay put without mourn and think about good things. I was never a daring girl who always did whatever she wanted, if I had been like that I probably wouldn't have been be so sad, because I would have known that I hadn't lived in vain, but on the contrary, I'd never done anything important, I actually had never done anything at all, and that was sadder because I also knew that I would die without doing anything, just sitting and waiting for my day to come.

A little girl came running; she was approximately five years old. She sat on the middle swing and started swinging. We wiped the tears from our faces and smiled.

"Hi" The little girl greeted us. She had beautiful blue eyes and a shining smile. She opened her mouth to say something else but saw a boy running towards her and stopped.

"Ashley!" The boy exclaimed angrily. He got to the swings and stood in front of us. "Why the hell did you run? You almost got run over! What were you thinking? Couldn't you just ask for my permission? I don't want you to escape again okay?" He said the last part calmer.

Susan and I had the same face as the scolded child. The guy was intimidating although he had a charming English accent and a very sweet face.

"But Toby" The child was about to burst into tears.

"You shouldn't have done that!" He started screaming again. I took a deep breath.

"Keep calm man, nothing happened. She is safe with us!" He looked offended. It seemed that he didn't like to be challenged. "We were here and wouldn't let anything happen to the girl, c'mon, let her stay here for a while, she wants to play, we can take care of her" His gaze shifted between Susan, Ashley and me. He sighed and slipped a hand through his tousled hair.

"Well, is just that I could have brought her if she hadn't run" He said with a half-smile. "Thanks but I'll stay with her"

"What's your name?" Ashley asked with a grin. "I'm Ash and this is my brother Toby"

"Tobias" He corrected with a tender smile, looking at his sister.

"I am Tris and this is Susan" I saw an ice cream shop and Susan told me to go with Tobias. She wanted a strawberry one and Ashley one of chocolate. The park was big and the way the ice cream stand was away, so it was very uncomfortable to walk with an almost unknown guy.

"Ummm…" He began to speak. He was nervous "where do you live? I hadn't seen you around"

"I live in the second house" I explained pointing to the street where my house was "I almost never go out"

"Oh, I also live there!" He pointed incredulously at the fifth house on the sidewalk in front of mice "I just got here, I lived in London with my father" He grimaced. I noticed that or he didn't like living in London or he had problems with his father.

"Really?" I smiled foolishly. "My dream is to live in London, that explains why you have such a cute accent" The smile on my face disappeared as I said the last part. Thank God he was very tall and couldn't see that my face was flushed. "Your Sister is lovely" I changed the subject quickly; hopefully he hadn't even heard what I said about his accent.

"I know" He smiled proudly "She's the most important person to me" It was really weird to hear something like. I mean, not many kids his age love and take care of their younger siblings.

"What will you have?" said the boy attending the stand when we reached the place, I hadn't even realized that we had arrived.

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	2. The Bucket List

The Perfect Bucket List

Chapter two: The Bucket List

"What will you have?" said the boy attending the ice-cream stand when we reached the place, I hadn't even realized that we had arrived. He waited for our answer with a sweet white smile.

"A small one of chocolate, another one of strawberry and one of vanilla please. What do you want?"

"Vanilla too" I turned to see him; he was looking me with a smile. I blushed and looked at the floor. It was stupid to blush with a simple smile but I couldn't help it.

"It seems that we have something in common" he said as he grabbed the ice creams. He gave me mine and Susan's and grabbed his and Ashley's. Yes, we had something in common. Something very silly and insignificant but something in common.

As we walked, we talked of nonsense things like our age and stuff. We saw that Susan and Ash were playing in the towers for children. I was surprised to see that Susan wasn't stuck in one of those.

We sat on a bench while eating the ice cream. The boy was very funny, besides handsome and sexy. I would have liked to stay longer with him but it began to get dark.

"Ash, its late" Tobias warned "we must go"

"No!" Cried the little girl "I want to be with Susan and Tris" Tobias sighed. He didn't know what to do.

"Ash, beautiful" Susan spoke first "go home, tomorrow we can come play again"

"Really?" she looked excited "Can we Toby? Can we go out with them tomorrow?"

"Only if you're good"' he said with a crooked smile. We walked together to our homes. Susan would sleep with me that night. We were telling jokes and playing with Ash on the way home. That girl had conquered me from the beginning.

We arrived at the door of my house and Ash hugged us both. Tobias came and gave us a little kiss on the cheek. _His perfume smelled so good._

"See you tomorrow I guess" He said and they walked away. I just smiled like an idiot and went inside my house. Susan stared at me, about to burst into laughter.

"You liked him" She snapped when I closed the door. I shot her an incredulous look.

"Why do you say that?" I asked, trying to look indifferent.

"Oh, accept it! He is gorgeous. Definitely your type…and he is British! He has a super sexy accent"

I shrugged "I'm not interested in knowing anybody." I sighed and my eyes filled up with tears. I pulled a chair and covered my face with my hands. It was true; I couldn't know anybody anymore. I could never fall in love with someone. I was expecting that one day I would fall in love with a boy and marry him. But I no longer had that option.

"We forgot the matter for a moment didn't we?" Susan wondered, she sat down beside me and took my hand "They will find a cure, remember we still have that option"

"I was never lucky Susan. Miracles don't happen to me" I admitted bitterly "I'm going to die and we can't do anything against that"

"Don't talk like that" Caleb scolded me, coming from the kitchen "You are not going to die, dwarf"

"Oh yeah, sure… they will find a cure for my disease and I will not die" I said sarcastically "come on, I'm not dumb enough to contemplate that option"

"You should speak like that more often" Susan said as Caleb sat beside her. She lifted her head and they kissed sweetly.

"Very demonstrative" I complained with derision. Yes, I had a lot of envy. I stood up and headed for the stairs. Susan started to rise.

"No, stay here with Caleb, you need a moment alone. You were the whole day with me"

"Alright" Caleb pouted. Susan looked at him tenderly and returned to his side. I went to my room, took off my shoes and laid in my bed with patience. At times like these I missed my parents. I took a deep breath and held my tears. I couldn't be crying all the time. I had to be strong.

I got up and opened the door that for several years had been closed. I climbed the old stairs. The attic was there since before they did my room. My mom had saved all documents, photos and important things inside before she died. In fact, the day before, and since then, nobody had risen again.

I sneezed and closed the door behind me. The walls were old and the yellow paint was peeling apart. There were drawings on the wall I had done when I was 9 years old and photos of Caleb, Susan and I when we were little. On the corner was my old table. I remembered we used to have tea and talk as if we were British. Caleb complained but eventually ended up playing with us.

This was my playroom; I never wanted to leave. Until the accident happened. I closed myself from reality and forgot that I used to come over here. I had not overcome the death of my parents yet. Sometimes I cried all night and complained to God. But that didn't serve at all. They wouldn't return to me.

A shiver ran down my spine. I bent down and grabbed a box of photos. I dusted and opened it, it had several albums. There were pictures of me, since I was a newborn: With my parents, with Caleb, with Susan, with my cousins… thousands of photos. I watched the photos for about an hour. I saw one of myself crying and laughed.

The sound of my phone took me out of my thoughts.

"Hello?" It was Susan.

"Where are you?" She sounded desperate.

"I'm in the attic" I said "remember? We used to spend whole days here"

"Be there in a second" I hung up and took more photos. There was one when I was older. I had exactly eleven, and those were the last photos there were. I took another case. It had several white sheets and documents. I heard footsteps on the stairs and the door opening.

"God, when was the last time we came here?" Susan exclaimed "Look at those photos!"

"I know, look at these ones!" She sat on the floor beside me forgetting about her white pants. We saw our drawings and some letters we wrote to us. Tears were present again. We were always very emotional.

At last, there was box I didn't remember. Purple with silver.

"The Bucket List"

1- Ride a roller coaster. (If it's small it doesn't count)

2- Get a tattoo.

3- Buy a plane ticket to the first destination they have.

4-Get away from my house.

5- Live in London.

6- Have a romantic dance in the rain.

7- Make graffiti.

8- Robb a candy store.

9- Tell someone other than Susan all my secrets.

10- Shoot a gun.

11- Take the hand of the boy I like.

12- Learn to play guitar

13- Write a song.

14- Stay all night with the guy I love.

15- Stay up all night just to watch the sunrise.

16- Learn to skateboard.

17- Kiss the guy I love in my first snowstorm.

18- Find the boy of my dreams (next page).

19-Tell him how I feel.

20-Make an impact on someone's life.

21-Being loved.

"Do you realize that I was only 11 when I wrote that?" I asked Susan.

"Well, you were a very precocious ..."

"I'm not talking about that" I interrupted her "What I'm saying is that those are things I want to do"

"Why don't you do it?" Susan asked as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"As if Caleb would let me get a tattoo and ... Live in London and all that"

"Look, they are not impossible things. They are simple and if you want to do them, then why not? God! What if they don't find a cure to your illness? Would die without having done anything like that?" I swallowed and my throat was dry. In fact I did not like the idea of dying without having completed at least a few things. Anyway, nothing was impossible. They were small things I wanted to do. I nodded with a smile. We stayed there longer and took our old dolls. I didn't even remember how fun it was to play with my best friend.

At dinner we were all quiet. Caleb and Susan were sharing glances occasionally and I just felt uncomfortable.

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	3. The Boy of my Dreams

The Perfect Bucket List

Chapter Three: The boy of my dreams.

I didn't know whether to tell Caleb what I planned to do or not, he was very mature regarding such things and I was pretty sure he wouldn't let me get a tattoo.

"Ummm, Caleb" I called for his attention. He raised his head and looked at me waiting for me to say something "with this whole thing…. I" I didn't know how to tell him "I found a little journal that I had when I was little and you know, I wrote some things in a list"

"What did you write?" He asked before taking a sip at his glass with soda.

"It's a list of things she wants do before she dies, sweetheart" Susan explained for me "Little things like getting a small tattoo and travel to London and ..."

"A tattoo? Going to London?" He repeated in amazement "there will be time to go to London, and you will never get a tattoo. Tris, we'll go from hospital to hospital until someone knows something about your illness, until someone has a cure. You will not be distracting yourself in stupid…"

"They are not stupid" I intervened "and I don't plan to walk from hospital to hospital, Caleb, if I have to die, I will die"

"You don't know what you're saying" he complained shaking his head "You won't do any of that shit and that's my final word."

I woke up the next day at 7:00 am and had to go to school but had no desire. I would use some of my situation.

I tried to get out of bed without waking Susan. I washed my face and put on a long white blouse and black shorts. I tied my hair into a high ponytail and without makeup or anything on my face went out for a walk. I went to the same park the day before. It was nice and at that time it was completely lonely.

I sat on the stem of a tree and hug my knees. I wanted to do everything on my list…everything. Well, one of the things was to run away from home_. I would do it if I wasn't such a coward_. I thought silently. I didn't have the guts to leave my brother. I took my old diary and reviewed the points again. Be loved in a few months would be very difficult.

"18- Find the boy of my dreams (next page)"

Surprised I turned the page.

"The boy of my dreams"

1- Will have pretty eyes (preferably blue).

2- Will have a cute laugh, he will make me laugh.

3- Will be gentle with children.

4- Will treat me well, like a princess.

5- Will make smile when I'm sad.

6- Will name a star with my name.

7- Will write me a love song.

8- Will teach me to play guitar and skateboarding.

9- Will give me his jacket when I'm cold.

10- Will laugh at my jokes even if they are not funny.

11- Will be tall.

12- Will tell me all his secrets

13- Will steal candy with me.

14- Won't be ashamed to mourn in front of me.

15- Will be from London.

16- Will commit follies with me.

17- Will call me "princess"

18- Will be my best friend.

19- Will tell me many beautiful things.

20- Will love me.

21- Will want to marry me.

I laughed sadly when I finished reading. Then I wiped the tears from my face and laughed again, this time strongly. I didn't care that the boy who had his back to me a few yards from me turned around. The boy was Tobias. Seeing him made something move inside me. And when he smiled I could not help but to smile like a fool. He approached me.

"Can I sit down?" He asked with his beautiful accent.

"Of course! Take a seat" I answered stupidly. I looked like a fool. I was a fool. I moved a little so he could sit down. He brought his face to mine and kissed my cheek tenderly. "What are you doing here so early?" I asked smiling. Basically I couldn't stop smiling.

"I always I wake up this early" He answered shrugging his shoulders. "I can't get used to the time change"

"Is it very different time from here to London?"

"Only two hours" He stared me straight in the face, intrigued. I blushed and lowered my gaze a little. He took my chin and lifted my face again. For a moment I thought he would kiss me "have you been crying?"

"No, not at all, I ... it's just that ..." my slow mind tried to think fast on a response. I didn't want to be like a crybaby.

"You don't know how to lie, has someone told you before?" He scoffed tenderly. I sighed and nodded weakly.

"Yes, people have told me and yes, I was crying" I admitted. His arms wrapped around me and my head rested in his chest. My nose was quickly flooded with his addictive perfume and my head began to spin.

"Don't cry" He asked in a whisper. The combination of having him whispering in my ear with his sensual accent and my nose buried in his neck with his perfect scent was nothing good. _Whom I cheat?_ _Of course it was good_. I sighed with delight. "I don't like to see girls cry. I know that we almost don't know each other but it's always good to vent" He got apart from me and sat down where he was before. He looked at me tenderly. "Will you tell me what's wrong?"

"It's complicated" I said in a whisper. "Recently… _yesterday_ rather, I was told that I have a terminal illness ..."

"Terminal? You mean that…" He looked at me with eyes wide open in amazement.

"I will die" He stayed with his mouth open. He moved his perfect lips a few times without making a sound. He didn't know what to say "well, I still don't not know whether I'm going to die or not but that is the most likely. It is an almost... unknown disease"

"I hope you don't" He muttered.

"Yes, but that's not the problem. The problem is that ... when I was little I made a list of things I wanted to do before I die. I told my brother and he just said I couldn't do anything. I have to probably spend my last months of life from hospital to hospital"

"That is horrible" He said.

"I know… I just want to do a few things. They aren't even that difficult."

"What kind of things?"

"Like getting a tattoo, run away from home, go live in London ..."

"Live in London?" He asked with a funny expression.

"I wanted it long before I met you" We laughed smoothly.


	4. Maybe I can help you

The Perfect Bucket List

Chapter four: Maybe I can help you.

"I wanted it long before I met you" We laughed smoothly. I didn't want him to think that I made that up just because I met him. It was only a beautiful coincidence.

"You could do it, seriously, take a chance"

"I can't do it, my brother would be really mad at me ... I can't do any of that stuff for myself, and the only person who would support me it's my brother's girlfriend"

"What if I help you with one thing?" He looked at me with a mischievous smile.

"Which one?"

"Getting a tattoo" He said. "Dude, I know a place of trust, my cousin is tattooing. She made me two tattoos."

"You have tattoos? Where?" I asked excitedly.

"One in the hip and one in the ribs, I would show them to you but an old couple is watching us and I'm kind of ashamed" he admitted. I laughed and pushed him slightly.

"Are you sure it doesn't hurt so much?" I asked, biting my lip nervously.

"Well, you only feel a twinge"

"I'll beat you if it hurts" I warned. My phone vibrated in my short and I got it out fast. "Hello?" I answered without checking who it was.

"Tris? Where on earth are you?!" Caleb shouted across the phone. I could hear the voice of Susan in the distance telling him not to scream.

"Calm down Caleb, I just went for a walk"

"Alright, arrive early. Who is with you?" He asked worriedly.

"A friend" I said rolling my eyes. His sudden concern was bugging me.

"What friend?"

"You don't care Caleb. Leave me alone, I'll go home when I'm pleased to it!" I shouted angrily. I hung up before he said something else to me and sighed. I didn't like to yell at Caleb but when he was in his protector brother role he really made me get mad.

"Is everything okay?" Tobias asked.

"My brother is behaving like an asshole" My eyes were flooded with tears. _Do not cry, do not cry, he will think you're nuts_. I said in my head over and over again. "No… I can't do anything, I just don't dare to do anything on my own, I hate myself for being such a coward Tobias. I can't do anything without thinking what my brother might say, whether he will be angry with me or won't like my attitude. I can't do anything without thinking about Susan. If she will help me or go running with Caleb to tell him. And I will die without having done a single thing of this stupid list." I said between sobs. Tobias hugged me again and I leaned back in his arms.

"Sweetheart, go for whatever it is that makes you happy. Fuck what they think" He advised while stroking my arm. He was right; I had to do what I wanted. Not what they wanted me to do. I sighed. It felt so good to be in his arms. So comfortable.

"You're right" I said and moved away from him to give him a smile. He moved his fingers down my cheeks and smiled.

"You are very pretty" He said all of a sudden and I blushed instantly "How about if we do something in that list of yours?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed happily. I took my diary and opened it "Not the first thing… definitely not"

"What comes first?" He asked curiously.

"I'm not going to tell you. I won't do it anyways" I said.

"Come on, just tell me what it is" He pouted. _You have no idea how hard it is to deny something to the bright-eyed and beautiful accented boy._

"The first thing is climbing a rollercoaster" I rolled my eyes "but I won't do it, I'm really scared of them, I think it would give me a heart attack"

"Really? You don't know what you've been missing, you will love them!"

"Ummm, I don't think so" I cut him off mid-sentence. He was excited and looked really cute but I would not get myself into a roller coaster.

"Ok…" He crossed his arms "Do you want to go with me to an amusement park?"

"Tobias, I told you" I looked at him with narrowed eyes "I will not…"

"I will go on the roller coaster, you will only see me, what do you think?" He stood up and held out his hand. I took it and stood. His hand was so warm and soft that it made me want to never release him, but I did because it may be a little scary for him that I hold his hand_. Although he invited me to a date_. No, it wasn't a date. But I wish it were one.

"Are we going for Ash?" I asked excited to see the girl again.

"No, I need her to stay alone with my aunt, you know, so she gets used to being with her" He explained. And I thought it was better for us to be alone because that way it would be more of a date. Maybe it wasn't a real date but anyone who saw us would have thought it was. Or maybe I was very desperate and Tobias was very handsome. Yeah, that sounds more convincing.

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**Hello, I just wanted to wish you Merry Christmas and tell you that since today I published two chapters (One of them is your Christmas present from me), I won't update until the reviews are more than 15.**


	5. Having Breakfast?

The Perfect Bucket List

Chapter five: Having breakfast?

We walked to a black Audi and Tobias opened the passenger door for me.

If you had told me to guess of the car he had, I would have said that an Audi like this. I don't know why, it just went out with his personality.

He walked around the car and got inside. I was nervous; it really seemed like a date. Although it could have been just a simple output. Tobias started the car and turned on the air.

"Did you have breakfast?" He wondered before leaving. I swallowed and only managed to shake my head. I was really hungry "Me neither, do you know of any good place?

"Every Sunday I go with Susan and Caleb to Cadillac Jacks. They have delicious waffles" I said excitedly. He drove next to the park.

"Where is it?" He asked without looking at me. I gave him the most understandable indications I could. I wasn't good at remembering names of streets and just told him where to go.

"Here it is" I said after a few minutes. He parked the car in the empty parking lot. Then he got out and opened the door for me. He was a gentleman. Together we approached the beautiful wooden house tucked between two huge oaks. The view was beautiful.

"Is it a restaurant?" Tobias asked confused. The first time I came I had also asked that.

"Yes, let's go in" I grabbed his forearm and pulled him to the front door, where a handsome guy that recognized me opened the door for us.

"Good morning" we said at the same time and smiled. I let go of Tobias's arm and got inside. He walked behind me. I had always loved the decor of the place. Several white wooden tables were scattered throughout the great space and in the walls were pictures with different tones of pink. The walls were green and the floor white and shiny as ever.

The people that went to that place was almost always the same so I smiled to most people. We sat at a table against the right wall. Tobias was looking around.

"What a nice place!" He exclaimed posing his intense gaze on my eyes "It's so ... Homey and warm"

"I know… it's the best place you can find for breakfast" I said. Mrs. Adele approached us with a tender smile. It was the sweetest old lady I knew. She had blue eyes and a beautiful smile. Despite her 90 years old, she was highly conserved and very cute. She was also English.

"Tris, honey" She greeted me by kissing my cheek.

"It's so good to see you!" I replied "He is my friend Tobias; I brought him so he can taste great waffles"

"She said there's no better place than this and she's right, it's beautiful, you have a good taste and you're lovely" Tobias said with a sweet smile.

"Oh, thanks angel. I'm Adele" She kissed his cheeks "Nice to meet you darling, are you English?"

"Yes" He answered proudly "You too, right? I note this from your accent."

"Of course" She smiled lovingly. "You are such a charm, isn't he Tris?"

"Ummm…." I blushed. _Damn cheeks!_ "Yes" she noticed everything and smiled.

"What will you order?"

"I want waffles with scrambled eggs, and one of your delicious vanilla milkshakes" I asked courteously. She wrote in her little notebook and looked at Tobias.

"I want the same, please"

"Your breakfast will be here in a moment" Adele said and went off with a smile.

"She is very sweet" Said Tobias after an awkward moment of silence.

"I know" That was all that came out of my mouth. I usually didn't shut up but in that moment I didn't know what to say. I was nervous. My cellphone rang and I got it out of my pocket. A message from Susan.

_Where are you Tris? I'm not with Caleb, you left me worried… Is everything okay?_

I looked at Tobias before answering, he was staring at me.

_I'm fine, I came to have breakfast with Tobias, the guy from the park, I think I'll be here a little longer; don't say anything to my brother please._

"Here are your milkshakes" Adele announced putting both cups on the table.

"Thanks" Tobias and I answered at the same time. Adele left and my cell phone rang again. Tobias gave a sip to the milkshake.

"It's delicious!" He exclaimed with wide eyes. I smiled tenderly and took a sip of mine. I opened the new message that Susan sent me.

_Oh God, did he ask you on a date? I'm so excited! You'll have to tell me all the details when you get home. Has he kissed you yet?_

I laughed at the silly idea of Susan. It was not a date. And of course, he wouldn't kiss me.

I didn't answer the message; it would have been rude to be with the cell phone in my hand all the time. I sighed and put my elbows on the table, lacing my fingers and leaning my chin on them. If that was a date, Tobias would have put all of his attention to the conversation with me, but he seemed more focused on his milkshake. He looked up and cached me watching him. From my seat, his eyes were blue with light.

"In London, do you live near the Big Ben?" I asked out of nowhere. I always wanted to live near there. I took another sip of my milkshake.

"Like three blocks away… from the balcony you can see it. At night it looks great!"

"I imagine" I sighed. "It must be wonderful" I whispered to myself.

"It is, hey!" He jumped from his seat excited to tell me something but quickly fell "No, forget about it"

"Oh, now I won't forget" I complained "Tell me, please"

"No, no" He shook his head "It's something stupid"

"Oh…" I lowered my gaze. I hated when people left me with doubt. Now I wouldn't be able to think of anything else than what Tobias was about to say. What if he was as confused as me to know if this was a date? Well, that wasn't very likely.

"Oh, don't make that face" He said smiling. "You look too sweet."

"It's the only face I have" I answered and blushed slightly. I could feel it. He stared at me for a while. I felt uncomfortable but happy. I passed my tongue over my lips. Adele came with two plates and put them on the table.

Oh, food…finally.

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**A/N: Hello readers:**

**I want to thank all of you for your reviews.**

**What do you think will happen next?**

**What was the thing Tobias wanted to tell Tris?**

**I know I said I wouldn't update until I had 15 reviews but I for myself am really enjoying writing this. I hope you are liking it.**

**From 15- 18 reviews, I will update until Friday**

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	6. The Destroyer!

The Perfect Bucket List

Chapter Six: The Destructor!

"I hope you like them Tobias" said Adele.

"Thanks" we both answered. The old lady went to meet another table with her usual warm smile. I stared at my plate and sighed. It looked so delicious and I couldn't wait to eat it. Wait no, what if Tobias thought I was a pig at eating? I didn't exactly eat like a lady. I ate like a _man_. I accept that. He was probably used to the little ladies who ate like princesses. I took my fork with insecurity and ate a little piece of waffle. I glanced at him before taking the fork to my mouth, he wasn't eating very _elegantly_.

"Is it good?" I asked with an involuntary smile. He stared at me with his mouth full.

"The most delicious waffles I've had in my entire life" He confessed swallowing. Why was he so cute and charming? Were all the guys in London like that or only him? I didn't know him at all but I thought he was perfect. His eyes, his mouth, his accent, his personality, his beautiful laugh that made me laugh even more.

How I wished that it were a date. I wished he told me that he liked me and that I was pretty. I wished that he just kissed me. I wished he asked me to be his girlfriend and enjoy together all that was left of my life. But that was impossible. That only happened in the movies. That only happened to pretty/lucky girls that had everything they wanted. But I was ugly, with bad luck and the worst things always happened to me. No boy liked that. At least not one of London.

I pushed those thoughts aside and tried to enjoy breakfast.

It was nice to hang out with him. Sometimes embarrassment disappeared and I spoke with him as if he was a lifelong friend. Time went flying. I didn't felt when we left Cadillac Jacks and headed to the amusement park until we were at the entrance of it.

"Are you scared of all games or just the roller coaster?" Tobias wondered as he gave the tickets to the boy in the entrance. The guy broke them in half and let us pass in.

"Only the rollercoaster" I admitted. We stared at _The Destroyer_, the state's largest rollercoaster. The name said it all. The cry of a girl in the destructor resounded throughout the place "Now you know why it scares me? That poor girl is horrified!"

"No she's not, she's screaming with pleasure!" He said and fell instantly. "Don't think wrong" I smiled.

"I didn't think wrong" I said "It is very clear that she is having an orgasm on the rollercoaster" We laughed. Hell, his laugh was contagious. He took my hand and pulled me to a place. I couldn't see where. I was too busy screaming of happiness in my mind. _He was holding my hand!_

"You'll love it" He murmured. My mind was so blocked that I didn't even know why he had said that. What was I going to love? Was he going to kiss me? Because I would really love that. We walked some more and he still didn't let go of my hand. _Oh, his hand was so soft._ We sat somewhere and he was still holding my hand. _This is obviously a date!_ I thought.

But then a steel pole took me out of my thoughts. Damn handsome boy! He had brought me up to the damn death machine, bone breaker, whatever. I couldn't remember the name of the damn rollercoaster.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I yelled. Tobias looked at me worriedly "I'm going to die! I told you I don't want to ride it; I told you I'm afraid"

"But you told me we could _come!"_ he defended himself "Well, you didn't say anything but you were smiling and I took it as a yes" I sighed and sank into the seat. I grabbed the tube harder when the green seatbelt came down. Of course I was smiling, because I thought he had grabbed my hand because he _liked_ me, not because he was taking me to this thing.

Dear God, I was so scared_._ Tears came to my eyes one after another and my heart was beating strong. Cold air dried my lips and Tobias-the traitor- took my hand again.

"Sorry" He whispered. I would have answered but the car started down the track. I felt we were going to fly away with everything and cart before it went up again. _Oh god, that was very steep._ I grabbed the hand of Tobias as hard as I could.

We reached the top and the car went down fast. I yelled as loud as I could, not because I was scared, but out of excitement. The tears dried and I closed my eyes. I smiled when the cart went up again. Adrenaline ran through my veins. I turned to see Tobias and he just stared at me with a smirk.

When the ride finished I had a lot of mixed feelings. I wanted to get back on the destroyer. I wanted to apologize to Tobias for yelling at him when he had no fault that I had stayed as retarded when he grabbed my hand. And I was ashamed to accept that it was amazing.

"And… how was it?" He asked with a smile. He knew I liked it, I knew he knew it. I shrugged my shoulders.

"It was fine" I replied without giving it much importance.

"Oh, you want to go back up and ride again, accept it" I looked at him and smiled from ear to ear.

"It was incredible!" I exclaimed. He laughed softly. "At first I was scared to death but then I didn't want to get off!"

"I don't want to say I told you but…" He shrugged with a beautiful smile "I told you."

x.x.x

Five weeks later, I hadn't done anything else in the list. I was still hanging out with Tobias, actually I saw him every day and he was becoming my best friend. He kept telling me I had to start doing everything I wanted because, unfortunately, the time I had was running.

And all I did those five weeks was going to hospitals, making studies, pulling blood. There were days I couldn't even get out of bed because I felt really weak.

No one had discovered anything of the disease, no one had found a cure and I was almost giving up.

**X…x…x…x…x…x…x…x…x…x**

**A/N: Hello**

**I just wanted to thank everybody for your reviews, it lights up my mood and makes me want to update faster. And I wanted to wish all of you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

**From 21-23 reviews, I'll update on Saturday**

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	7. Dreams

The Perfect Bucket List

Chapter Seven: Dreams

Susan was a little jealous of Tobias; she said that I spent more time with him than her. I always denied it, but everybody knew it was true.

I loved Susan, she was my best friend since childhood and it would always be that way, she helped me in everything and was a great friend, but in the list she didn't, in fact she had already forgotten. But Tobias was just perfect. He supported me although I had met him only a few weeks before. There wasn't a single second that I didn't smile when I was with him. Only when he scolded me or when he complained that I had given up all my dreams. Of course, it was easy to say it. He didn't know what I was going through, didn't know the pain I went through every time I remembered I would die and anybody could do anything about it.

I was in my room with Susan: Speaking of anything and laughing as usual.

"C'mon, accept that you like him" We were lying in my bed, I had my head resting on her legs and she was leaning against the headboard.

"I don't like him" I complained. "He is gorgeous and all, but you know I don't want to like anyone"

"You can't help liking him" I opened red enamel and started painting the nails of her left hand "the guy is perfect"

"He is" I sighed "but I can't like him, and anyways, he told me he likes someone else… a girl from London"

"Really?! Did he tell you what she's like?" She wondered amazed. I finished the hand and started with the right one.

"Blond hair, green, cute and sweet eyes… a complete lady" I said through clenched teeth. Everything I'm not. It was obvious that he would like a girl like that.

"Ugh, that's so common" She rolled her eyes "I thought he had a better taste"

"I'm sure the girl is beautiful" I muttered more to myself than to her. My teeth were clenched; I just didn't like the subject. My phone vibrated in the bed, I closed the enamel and grabbed it. It was Tobias.

"Hello" I answered with a smile and sat next to Susan.

"Hey, how is this lady today?" He asked and I laughed softly.

"I am fine sir, what is the motive of your call?" I tried to mock his accent. I guess I couldn't because he started laughing.

"I'm really bored" He complained. I imagined he was pouting. "My aunt went out with Ashley and left me alone, sad and abandoned"

"Oh poor" Susan never took her eyes off me. A look that screamed _you like him and I know it_ "I'm with Susan in my room doing nothing. You want to come?"

"Oh well, if you insist, I'm coming"

"I'll wait for you here" I hung up with a smile and Susan laughed.

"You blush when you talk to him, and don't stop smiling, I've known you for 11 years and you can't lie to me, you love Tobias" she accused. No, no, no and no. I couldn't like him, or anyone. But more him, because I knew I could fall in love and it would be worse because I would die. It's not that I didn't like him; I just didn't _want_ to like him.

"Yeah" I shrugged my shoulders "but he will never like me and we won't get together so you better leave it"

"Honey, of course you can get together" She put her hand on my arm "Don't close yourself from the world, don't refrain from being happy" The door to my room suddenly opened and Caleb entered as Jack to his house.

"Didn't anyone teach you how to knock?" I asked sarcastically. Caleb stuck out his tongue, threw himself on the bed and got on top of Susan. They started kissing and I felt very uncomfortable "Caleb, control your hormones, man, you're in my room and that's my poor bed"

"You can leave" Susan laughed and they started kissing again. The doorbell rang.

"I'll leave" I got out of bed and watched them for a minute before running away trying to clear my mind. I didn't want to think about my brother and my best friend doing something on my bed. I opened the door and Tobias smiled.

"Hi" I kissed his cheek "What about going out for a walk or something?

"Did you fight with your brother?" He looked worried. He was so cute when he cared about me that I could hardly help smiling.

"No, it's just that he and Susan are busy…. if you know what I mean" I shook my eyebrows. He laughed.

"Let's leave them to have fun then" He said. I slung my backpack and closed the door "Let's go for my car"

"No, walk, do not be lazy Tobias" I hit his arm. He put an arm around my shoulders and leaned into me.

"Carry me" He asked. I nearly fell, he was heavy.

"Okay, get on my back" I said. He walked away and looked at me with narrowed eyes "Really, I can do it"

"Ok" He walked behind me and put his arms around my neck. For a moment I thought he would do it. But then he put his head on my shoulder and kissed my cheek "It would be better if _I_ carry _you_" He whispered in my ear. My knees were almost trembling.

"That's better" He let go and stood in front of me "You're very tall Tobias"

"If I were short you would also complain. You are very demanding, woman!" I laughed and passed my arms around his shoulders. I jumped and wrapped my legs around his narrow waist. He put his hands on my legs to hold me and we walked for a while. Laughing and joking. It felt so good to be with him, breathing his perfume.

We arrived to a park that was two blocks from my house and way more beautiful than the other one and sat on the floor under a tree to give us shade. The children ran from side to side, playing without worry or sadness. There were couples sitting on benches, holding hands, enjoying love. And there I was. With a perfect guy next to me. But he wasn't mine and never would be.

"What are you thinking about?" He suddenly asked. He leaned on the stem of the tree and stared at me "You're very quiet, something strange in you"

"Anything, just…" I sighed "I'm distracted. Tomorrow I will go to another hospital, they will blood drawn me once again with no use. I will be dry one of these days!"

"It's foolish of Caleb, foolish and inconsiderate"

"What thing?"

"Having you living this way" He said with the same annoying tone he used every time the subject was brought up. "Lately I've been tempted to go tell a few things your brother, I mean, it's okay that he doesn't want to lose you but what he does is too much"

"I know but, put yourself in his shoes" I sighed "He lost my parents and now he's about to lose me too, he's doing the impossible for me to not die"

"That's true" He sighed and stared at me. We were silent for a while.

"And I also decided that I will get a tattoo with your cousin" I said. He stared at me.

"Are you sure?"

"Not so much" I admitted "But I wish I could get one"

"Hey! Stop saying _I wish_ and start saying _I will" _He took my hand and pressed it hard "Promise me you will do all the things in your list"

"I don't know Tobias" I hesitated a little "I don't know"

"You'll never know if you never try. You know I'll support you in everything" I smiled and hugged him.

"Let's try the tattoo. Where is your cousin?"

"Really?" He asked excitedly. He stood up and helped me "let me get my car" He took my hand and led me to his house running, he was really fast and his cheeks turned red and looked more beautiful than ever. But I never ran and got tired very easily. When we reached his Audi I couldn't keep up, I felt my chest close. He opened the door for me and I got in. I searched in my backpack for my inhaler. Not that I was already having an asthma attack but it helped me get better. I used to be inhaling that thing all the time. It felt good, it was like if it opened my lungs or something.

"Are you asthmatic?" He asked with a shocked expression. I saved the inhaler in my backpack and smiled.

"No, well yes, but it's okay, nothing happens"

"Yes it does, something happens. Sorry, I should t have made you run" He slapped his forehead "sorry"

"Stop worrying so much, I'm fine"

"No, It's just that I am an idiot" He was taking this too seriously, nothing happened.

"I noticed" I laughed; he relaxed his expression and laughed with me. I went all the way wiping sweat from my hands in my black pants. I was nervous. Would it hurt a lot? Tobias had said it didn't and had two tattoos so it couldn't be _that_ painful.

**X…x…x…x…x…x…x…x…x…x**

**From 34-36 Reviews I'll update on Sunday**

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	8. Stop Saying I Wish

The Perfect Bucket List

Chapter Eight: Stop Saying I Wish and Start Saying I Will

I was nervous. Would it hurt a lot? Tobias had said it didn't and had two tattoos so it couldn't be_ that_ painful.

"I'll beat you if it hurts" I said when he stopped the car outside his cousins place. He got out of the Audi and walked around to open the door for me.

"You won't need to hit me because it won't hurt" I took a deep breath and walked slowly next to him. Tobias opened the door and we walked in. It smelled of mint and snuff. There were pictures of tattoos on the walls and soft music was playing as a background. _To relax the victims_ I thought. Never in my life would I have guessed that a tattoo parlor would look like that one; I imagined it would be all black with neon lights everywhere. But I was wrong. The place had white walls, light came in from the huge windows and it seemed that someone cleaned everything with bleach in the morning.

A photo caught my attention: Some birds flying in a girl's hip, it looked cute.

"Tobias!" Exclaimed a boy coming out of nowhere. He was tall like Tobias but more robust, very handsome, had his arms full of tattoos, blue eyes, brown skin and a cute white smile. Tobias hugged him and patted his back "How have you been, man?"

"Very well bro" He answered and turned to me. "This is Tris, a friend. Tris, this is Zeke."

"A pleasure to meet you beautiful" He took my hand and kissed it. He was gorgeous.

"Me too" I replied.

"What do I owe your visit? You want another tattoo?"

"No, not me" Tobias pointed at me "She wants one… We're looking for Tori"

"Really? Well, your cousin is not here" Zeke shook his head "But I can always help you!" Tobias nodded. We walked into his workspace and I tensed when I saw the tattoo machine "You want me to show you some tattoos? Or you already know what you want?"

"I liked one of the pictures in the entrance" I said. Tobias sat in a chair and began playing with some stuff.

"How is it?"

"Some birds flying… ravens" I explained. He looked through some loose papers over a desk and showed me one "Yeah, that's it"

"Alright" He turned to me "Where do you want the tattoo?"

"In the hip"

"Like Tobias'?" I turned to see him; he was very entertained watching a few albums.

"I don't know… he hasn't shown me any of his tattoos" I complained.

"Well, get comfortable" He pointed to a table in the middle of the small room. I laid down and felt a little uncomfortable. Tobias stood beside me and grabbed my hand.

"Will it hurt too much?" I asked Zeke. I was really scared.

"Not so much, you will only feel a twinge" he walked to the other side of the table and sat down on a chair. Tobias was holding my hand "Pull your blouse up to the waist" Zeke commanded and I did what he told me. I left my blouse just below my bra.

"Just stay still" Tobias said "It will be like the roller coaster" Zeke pulled my jeans down, exposing my poor left hipbone. I took a deep breath while he put the decal on my skin.

"You like how it looks?" I got up a little supporting my weight in my forearms. It looked very nice. I nodded and bit my lip. He took the tattoo machine and lit it. I felt fear running through my body. I was TERRIFIED. I was never good with pain. I used to cry every time I got a shot. On top of already being a wimp when it comes to pain, a voice inside my head kept telling me how much it was going to hurt. My biggest fear was to not able to handle the pain and having to quit half-way through. But after Zeke showed me the design he had drawn up, I fell in love with it and my fear kind of evaporated.

"Oh, fuck" I cried when he started to do his job. It was stronger than a simple stitch. Tobias stared at me with open eyes. He had never heard me speak like that… and I didn't care that he heard me. I would beat him when we got out. Zeke laughed, I stifled a sob and tightened my eyes. The moment I felt the needle on my skin I knew it was going to be harsh. But I wasn't prepared for_ that_ kind of harsh. After the first minute I had the urge of saying _ok, got it, enough_. After the second minute I just wanted to run away. And after the first five minutes I really wanted to punch Zeke. In his face. Repeatedly. Until he was down. And then kick his face. Repeatedly.

"Tobias, hold her legs" Zeke ordered "She's moving too much." Tobias released my hand and grabbed both of my thighs. I crossed my arms over my head and he stroke my legs a little.

"Relax" He whispered. I thought he was taking advantage of the situation. His hands moved higher. If I hadn't gone there with him, it would've been another guy who grabbed my legs like that. Or perhaps I would've been alone somewhere with a dangerous guy. Tobias wasn't dangerous but even though I was very confident of him I felt as if I they were going to rape me…apart from the pain of the tattoo in my skin. It hurt a lot.

I just wanted to have it done and if that meant I had to go through that pain, well, I just had to stay there. And that's exactly what I did. I started to shift my focus from my pain and the needle that was sewing me to breathe and focused on what I always did when I wanted to calm down or just take a break and refuel myself with energy: Inhale. Exhale. Frown. Repeat. Inhale. Exhale. Frown. Repeat.

"Ready" Zeke exclaimed. Tobias didn't take his hands off me "Let go of her, man!"

"Oh, sorry" He apologized. I didn't even look at him. He said it wouldn't hurt. That I was going to feel only a twinge. _A twinge is what I'm going to give him! _I thought_._ He stared at me as I stood up. I held my shirt at the waist and I stared at myself in the mirror. It looked really nice. So much pain was worth it.

"I like it!" Zeke took his gloves off.

"Did it hurt a lot?" Tobias asked me worriedly. I ignored him.

"Don't put your blouse down" Zeke said. "Did it hurt a lot?"

"No, not at all" I replied sarcastically. He laughed and Tobias was serious "thank you very much, how much will it be?

"Oh no, the _friends_ of Tobias" He said, making air quotes "are my friends… its nothing" I smiled without knowing what he was talking about "Okay then" I made a knot in my shirt so it didn't come down and grabbed my backpack from one of the black chairs.

The boys said goodbye to each other with a handshake. Zeke approached me and kissed my cheek "Good luck with her Tobias, I'll tell Tori you came by so she goes see you before you leave" Tobias shook his head and I walked to the exit. I wasn't angry at all, I was just upset because Tobias knew that it was going to hurt and didn't say anything to me.

Tobias wasn't smiling. He stepped forward and opened the passenger door for me. I walked in without saying anything to him. It would be fun to be mad at him for a while. He got in after a minute and started the car in silence. I thought he wouldn't say anything to me, but I noticed he was just thinking of something to say. He stopped at a red light and stared at me. I looked forward, ignoring his gaze.

"Are you really mad?" He asked and I shrugged without answering "Tris, sorry, I didn't think it would hurt so much. I'll let you hit me."

"Don't worry, just take me to my house" I answered coldly, turned to the window and tried not to smile or anything, _Poor fellow, he feels worried_. He sighed heavily and kept driving. Hell, I would get to my house and I would have to get in and my brother would see the tattoo. Tobias stopped the car outside my house and opened the door. He took me gently by the arm before I got down.

"Tris, come on, you know I hate it when you're angry with me" He said. I turned to him and said nothing "Hit me, I know that's what you want"

I laughed out loud, "Tobias, I didn't get mad"

"What?"

"Sorry, it's just that you look so cute when you're worried" I smiled revealing my teeth. He stayed angry one minute and then laughed

"Then" He rubbed his face "Do I leave you now or you want to go somewhere else?"

"Whatever you want, we can go to your house to play with Ashley" He frowned.

"Ash…" He made a face "When we go with her you ignore me, you just play with her… Let's go eat somewhere"

"How long do I have to leave the tattoo open?" He stared at it.

"A little longer" He sighed "With all that you were angry and so I couldn't ask you. Did you like your tattoo?"

"Yes! Even if it hurt" I admitted "even if it felt that the machined pierced me to the bone"

"Don't be exaggerated, it didn't hurt so much, what happened is that you are very weepy"

"Weepy me?" I asked with a hand on his chest "And you are a liar"

"Liar me?" He mocked me and we laughed.

**X…x…x…x…x…x…x…x…x…x**

**38 Reviews everybody!**

**I want to thank all of you for your continued support!**

**From 39-41 Reviews I will update on Monday**

**From 42-44 I'll update on Tomorrow**

**45- more I'll update in 5 or six hours**


	9. Take me Away

The Perfect Bucket List

Chapter Nine: Take me away

"Whatever… where do we go?"

"I want Chinese food, hey! Learn how to drive you idiot!" Tobias shouted at the car next to him. I sank into the seat, he was driving really fast. He passed several cars and I felt my hear in my chest. Ever since my parents died, I've been scared of going too fast in cars. It gave me shivers to think that the accident happened because of something as simple as that.

"Tobias, we have no hurry" I said softly. He stared at me and smiled, but didn't slow down.

"Are you afraid?"

"No, but slow down" I took a deep breath. He went faster.

"Accept that you're scared" Luckily, there were no cars nearby or we would have crashed.

"Yes! I'm scared but slow down!" I screamed and he did what I told him.

"There was no need to shout" He shook his head "look, here we are" He parked in front of the yellow Chinese restaurant and opened the door for me. I was ashamed to go out with my blouse like that. Everyone would see me and my tattoo. And I didn't have the most flattering abdomen in the world to walk around without shame.

"Tobias I don't want to go out like this" I said "I'm ashamed"

"Why?" He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the car "You look good, come on"

"Tobias, everybody will stare at me!"

"Tris, I'm really hungry" He said carefully, like he was saying something really important "I'll beat anyone that stares at you"

"What if it's a woman?"

"I don't care! I'll beat them anyway. Now do me a favor and hurry" I grabbed his hand before he said anything and walked quickly toward the door. Luckily it wasn't busy. We ordered the usual and the food came quickly: Salt and pepper shrimps, Sweet and Sour Pork, noodles and rice.

It was amazing how comfortable I felt with Tobias. We could talk about anything and always laugh. And I really like him. How was I supposed to don't like him?

"Will you let me see your list then?" He asked for the 100th time. I shook my head and swallowed. "Then tell me what's next" I looked around in my backpack for the old diary.

"'buy a plane ticket to the first destination they have'" I quoted "but…"

"But, but, but, you always put buts"

"You're right, I'll do it tomorrow then" I decided serious. Of course I wanted to cross out "run away from home". Although I knew I wouldn't last a week.

"What did you say?"

"That I…"I repeated slowly "will run away from home and go to the first destination they have"

"Are you serious?" He wondered in disbelief.

"Is not that hard to believe"

"Yes it is" He almost chocked on the rice "Where is the fearful Tris I know? Where do we leave her?"

"Ha, ha" I laughed sarcastically "Fearful Tris your grandmother"

"Just kidding" He pinched my cheek "I can't believe you"

"Well believe it because I will" I took a sip from my soda "I won't last more than a week in another state or another country but whatever"

"How will you do it?

"I'll ask a taxi in the morning to take me to the airport, then I will take a plane and that's it… not an impossible mission!"

"I know it's not what I mean, what will you do somewhere else on your own?" I remained silent for a second. I didn't think of that.

"I'll go to a hotel and will stay locked up there until my brother calls me and I have to come back" I said, that would be exactly what would happen if I did it.

"It can't be" He covered his face with both hands "_That_ is the dumbest thing you've said since I met you, and believe me when I tell you that you've said a_ lot_ of stupid things"

"Hey, stop insulting me" I complained a little offended "Why do you think my super plan is stupid?"

"I'll tell you what I think" He settled into his seat and licked his lips "Knowing the bad luck you have, you'll probably get a flight to Morocco or so, somewhere in Africa. You will cry, be afraid and buy another immediate flight over here."

"You really you think that?"

"Yes, that's more likely" He admitted. I raised an eyebrow and continued eating in silence. Why did he care? It would be my problem if I went to Morocco although I didn't even know where it was. He was always telling me that kind of stuff, I wasn't scared or weepy or little daring and I didn't have bad luck. Well, only a little. But it was _my_ problem and he didn't have mess with it "Don't get mad, I didn't finish what I was going to say"

"Tell me"

"Maybe if I go with you you'll be safer and won't have to stay locked in a hotel" He muttered and I looked up with wide eyes.

"Are you saying that you would like to accompany me?" He nodded smiling.

"If you want" He shrugged "I've got nothing to do and what's better than to travel with my best friend?" I forced a smile and nodded.

I knew we were best friends, but to hear him say that hurt. As if he was rejecting me again and again. As if he had to keep reminding me so I didn't get many illusions. That broke my heart.

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**Okay, I'm mad at myself.**

**This chapter is way too short, and I know you will hate me because it finished too friend zone. But keep calm, keep reading and you'll find out that not everything is what it seems.**

**You know the routine:**

**From 45-47 Reviews I'll update on Tuesday**

**From 47-50 Review's I'll update Tomorrow**

**50- More I'll update in a few hours**


	10. Mission Impossible

The Perfect Bucket List

Chapter 10: Mission Impossible

At 3:00 A.M Tobias made me a missed call.

I took a deep breath; I couldn't back out at that point. _Not that I wanted to_ I thought. I read the letter for my brother one last time before leaving it in my bed:

_Caleb:_

_I hope you don't get mad at me. I would tell you where I'm going but I won't because I don't want you to go look for me. I want to live my life. Be free. I don't want to spend the rest of my days in a hospital. I want to do the things in my list. I want to be happy. And I want you to stop worrying so much about me. I won't be out for a long time, just want to take a break from this place. I'm safe and you don't have to be worried about that either. _

_PS: Take care of Susan for me, _

_Loves,_

_Tris_

He would frighten anyways but the letter would help him not to put me in the section of missing or do a SWAT search around the world.

I grabbed the small suitcase I had packed very carefully a few hours earlier and left the house in silence. Tobias was waiting in his car with a smile that made me smile too. I wasn't doing anything wrong; I wasn't going to escape forever. A feeling of disappointment ran through my body as I hurried to his car.

"Start the car" I ordered as I climbed. He laughed softly and obeyed.

"Hi Tobias, how are you this morning?" He said shrilly, trying to mock my accent. "Your brother wasn't chasing you, calm down"

"Yes, I'm sorry" I looked him in the eye. He started the car. "Do you know where the airport is?"

"I don't know" he shrugged and parked the car on the side of the street. We hadn't even advanced three blocks from my house "Do _you_ know where the airport is?"

"You really don't know?" I teased "move and I'll drive"

"You forget I've been living here only a few weeks" He defended himself "You know how to drive?"

"Of course I know!" Well, it was a white lie. I only drove once with my brother's car and hadn't done so bad. He nodded, a little suspicious and we changed seats. I started the car and drove slowly through the streets. The good thing was that there wasn't anybody to run over.

"Go faster grandmother, there's no one on the street. Why are you so slow?"

"Well, because I drive like that! Now shut up" I muttered. I continued my slow but sure way to the airport. It took 40 minutes but we arrived. Tobias went down with my suitcase and his.

"You stay here while I go buy the tickets" He said. I looked at him suspiciously and nodded. I was so nervous that I couldn't stop my hands from sweating. Where were we going to go? Surely Africa as Tobias said. I just hoped to have some luck on my side this time and get somewhere decent. Tobias approached me with two tickets in hand and a huge smile on his face. I figured he had gotten a good place.

"Where are we going? He laughed and showed me the tickets.

"London" He muttered slowly. I gasped in surprise, I couldn't say anything. I got up and hugged him stronger than ever "I think your luck is changing"

"Oh, Tobias" I sobbed into his neck. I was crying of happiness, because I was very emotional and because I would go to London. Since I was little I've dreamed of being there… and I would go with Tobias! Of course my luck was changing.

Now came the part where he kissed me and told me that he loved me. But no, he separated a little from me.

"Why are you crying?" He wondered worried. I removed my arms from his neck and wiped my tears.

"Go to London has always been my dream" I admitted. He smiled and hugged me again.

"If I had known that if I bought tickets for London you would get all cheesy I would have bought tickets before" He said and I let out a nervous giggle. What did he mean? I would be cheesy all day if he asked me to.

They announced the flight and we went to do all the important things, leave the suitcases and stuff. I was still lost in my own cloud of happiness. I couldn't ask for more at that time. Now I could cross out "live in London" on my list. I always thought that one would be the only one I wouldn't do, and there I was, boarding a plane to London with a guy in who drove me crazy. I knew I didn't have any chance to be with Tobias but I still liked him, because it was impossible not to fall for a guy like him. Yes, I was falling in love. A little fast of course but I should have guessed. I should have guessed since I saw him running in the park, since I heard his beautiful accent, since I spoke with me and he proved to be different from everyone else. I should have guessed that falling for him would be something inevitable.

And now we would go to his city, to the city where Bitchy Rita lived and Tobias liked her. And he for sure would introduce us and I would have to talk to her every day and see how beautiful and perfect she is.

"You've been quiet" Tobias murmured and put a hand on my arm "Are you tired?"

"Yes" I smiled a little and turned to the window of the plane again.

I was depressed in less than five minutes thinking about that silly Rita. I was quite sure that Tobias had many friends like me, in love with him. If in USA I had a little chance… in London would be less. And I would be alone. With whom would I cry with and talk about Tobias? Susan was not very reliable at the time. If I talked to her she would surely scold me and tell Caleb, so I would have to wait a while and tell her everything in a few days.

I didn't know how or when or why, but fell asleep peacefully in Tobias's shoulder.

"Tris, Tris wake up" Tobias whispered stroking my hair. I opened my eyes slowly and incorporated into the seat. People were already down and we were the last ones on the plane.

"Why didn't you wake me before?" I got up and tried to brush my hair with my hands. He laughed and stood with me.

"You are a heavy sleeper" He scoffed. We left the plane "And you talk sleeping, did you know?"

"What?" I asked "What did I say?"

"Oh, many things" He said and grabbed my suitcase from the top.

"I'm serious, what did I say?" I walked in front of him and stood on tiptoe trying to look into his eyes. He moved to one side, grabbed his suitcase and kissed my cheek. A gesture that left me dying inside.

"I'll tell you later" He answered "forget that and enjoy the city of love"

"The City of love is Paris" I corrected. He looked at me with that smug smile that I loved.

"If I say that London is the city of love is because it is" He shrugged "Paris stole the term"

"If you say so" I rolled my eyes,

**X…x…x…x…x…x…x…x…x…x**

**Hey!**

**Here's your second chapter of the day, sorry for taking so long and thank you for your reviews!**

**I have to tell you that I can't reveal if they will get together or not. You have to find out. I remind you that in a real relationship, love doesn't come right away. Fourtris relationship started a little past the middle of the book so be patient.**

**Just two questions I want you to answer in your reviews: 1. Do you think it was a coincidence that the tickets to the first destination they had was London? 2. What do you think Tris said to Tobias while sleeping?**

**And last but not least I have an announcement. Tomorrow won't be another chapter, sorry. I go back to school on Jan. 12 and I have a summer project of World History to finish ( I just moved from Mexico and the system is really different from here and I have to make up credits) and another one of English, so please review and I'll be back probably on Monday.**


	11. Dare to Dream

The Perfect Bucket List

Chapter eleven: Dare to dream

The thing I didn't think about before we traveled was the effect the time zone change would have on me. When we arrived at the airport, I felt like a sheep being lead through a maze. We tried to quickly find our luggage, clear the passport control point, and hail a taxi. I was happy that an English-speaking country would be my first overseas experience because I couldn't imagine dealing with speaking another language. A haze in my head made everything feel like a dream.

"Do you mind if you stay in my apartment?" Tobias asked, getting me out of my thoughts. _You should've asked before, don't you think? _I thought.

"It's okay" I replied staring at him. "But don't bring girls alright? It would be somewhat uncomfortable"

"I don't bring girls to my apartment! How can you believe that of me?" He asked with one hand on his chest. For a moment I believed him "_They_ take me to their apartments"

"Shut up dumbass" I hit him in the arm and faked a laugh. The worst thing was that I didn't doubt it. I just hoped he didn't forget about me, about his ordinary friend of USA that wasn't elegant or beautiful, just nice and clumsy. I hoped that our friendship would stay like it was last week.

I was looking out the window of the taxi again, everything was so beautiful. And I couldn't believe it was real. My stomach was full of butterflies that tickled me and all I wanted to do was cry. All my life I had seen pictures of London but it _definitely_ didn't compare with seeing it live. Since our plane departed at 5:00 A.M- Time of my house- and the flight lasted 8 hours, it was 4:15 P.M- Time of London- but it didn't seem that way.

The taxi parked in front of a building and Tobias paid. The place looked like a palace or something, it was beautiful. Is that where he lived? It couldn't be, an apartment here would be very expensive and not that I thought Tobias seemed poor, but he neither seemed super millionaire.

"This is where you live?" I asked confused. He grabbed the suitcases from the trunk and walked to the entrance.

"Yes" He answered laughing "why?"

"It's just that…" We walked into the lobby and my mouth fell open. It was beautiful, everything was expensive and no, it wasn't that I was poor nor I wasn't accustomed to seeing expensive things, it was just that I wasn't used to seeing things so elegant. "It's awesome"

"Tobias, hello men how are you?" A guy greeted him.

"Peter, hello" They shook hands and hugged "I made a trip to USA"

"Yeah, something told me that" The boy stared at me and smiled self-sufficiently, like Tobias. The difference was that when Tobias used that smile he looked good and he didn't "Who is this beautiful girl?"

"She is Tris" Tobias said, drawing the words out as if he didn't want to introduce me. "A friend of USA"

"A pleasure to meet you Miss" He grabbed my hand and kissed it. I smiled hypocritically… he had something that didn't quite fell to its place.

"The pleasure is all mine" I said, trying to sound refined or something like that. If it had been for me, I would have made him a face and walked away without saying anything. But he was friends with Tobias and I didn't want to be rude.

"Well, we have to go up to my room to finish unfinished business, if you know what I mean" Tobias said, grabbing my arm. Peter forced smile and waved goodbye. I wasn't stupid; he thought we were going to do something dirty. Tobias made it sound that way.

"What unfinished business Tobias?" I asked with narrowed eyes. He snorted and raised an eyebrow.

"I hate him and you were flirting with him!" He complained while grabbing the suitcases he had left on the floor and walked to the elevator. I followed him.

"Excuse me, flirting?" He opened the elevator door and walked in. He pressed number 13 "Tobias, I'm talking to you"

"And I'm listening" He answered without looking at me. He was angry for something stupid. Just because he didn't like Peter it meant that I was "flirting" with him.

"Oh, come on" I smiled gladly. It seemed that he was jealous "Are you jealous?"

"Jealous?" He turned around "Why would I be jealous?" _Hell, that hurt. _I faked a laugh and the elevator door opened. That happens to me for being so dumb, it was obvious that he wasn't jealous and obvious I shouldn't have guessed that, much less say it. We walked in silence down a hallway and I didn't even paid attention to the decor.

He pulled the keys out of his blue backpack to open the big mahogany door and stepped aside to let me pass. I walked in and looked carefully around. It was large and elegant but manly and messy. I expected it to be browner, with wood and things like that. But the walls were blue and black. Black velvet chairs rested in front of one of the walls, strange paintings hanged on the walls and there were also glass shelves but it didn't have much decoration. There were clothes on the floor and pizza boxes on the coffee table. A giant plasma TV was in front of the chairs with a small table to one side, leaving much room in the department.

"It's… nice" I said after inspection. He nodded and left the suitcases on the couch.

"Thanks" He muttered walking to a hallway. I took air and stood in front of him.

"Why are you still angry?" I was upset. He opened his mouth to speak, "And don't try to tell me you're not because I know you and you rarely get mad at me. I wasn't flirting with your friend and even if I was, I don't understand why that bothers you" It looked like a damn boyfriend-girlfriend fight. Except that it wasn't and Tobias had left it really clear that he would never be jealous of me.

"Sorry, I'm not mad at you" He rolled his eyes "it's just that ... I'm tired"

"You sure, sure, sure?" He smiled and hugged me.

"Sure, sure, sure" He pulled away from me and took my hand "Come, I'll show you your room"

"Room? Oh, don't worry, I can sleep on the floor" I muttered and he shook his head. I walked down the long hallway until he opened a door and entered: It was his room; I didn't have to be a genius to figure it out. The walls were red and photos of baseball players hanged on the wall. It had a very large unmade bed with black sheets, a chest full of personal belongings and clothes, a glass desk with a computer and some books and clothes all over the floor.

"I didn't remember it being so messy" He laughed nervously as he released my hand and began to pick up a little "do not go thinking I'm dirty or something"

"Tobias don't worry, I'm not one of those girls who have their room in order all the time" He stared at me with a side smile "I don't care if you're dirty"

"Well, I'm glad" He stared strangely at my suitcase as he lifted it "How many clothes you brought?"

"Like three changes and other shoes" I replied mad at myself for having packed so little.

"Why did you bring so little? How long do you plan for us to be here?" He asked bewildered. I shrugged my shoulders.

"It's just that I... I never thought we would come to London" I excused "But I don't plan on coming back in less than a week"

"Of course not! We can go to buy you clothes after a nap" He suggested.

"Oh, I didn't bring much money" I complained. Why the hell was so dumb?

"But I have" He shrugged. It was impossible to argue with Tobias, if he wanted to buy me something I would let him.

"Why did you give me your room? Where will you sleep?"

"I'm using the room for guests to save some stuff and I can say it's out of order" He frowned "I can sleep on the couch…it's actually very comfortable"

"Oh, of course not" I raised my eyebrows "this is your apartment and I'm just a guest, I should sleep on the couch. And I don't care because when I sleep I forget everything around me and I won't even remember I'm sleeping on a couch and ..."

"Nothing Tris... I will not argue with you, I'll sleep on the couch and that's my last word"

"But we can both sleep in the bed Tobias" He stared at me weirdly "It's very large and well ... I have no problem, it's not like if you're gonna rape me or something" I laughed.

"How do you know I won't" He asked with a smirk. I laughed and moved the sheets of the bed to get in and cover myself.

"Okay Mr. Rapist" I sighed "Lie with me and stop the drama"

"That sounds like an indecent proposal" He lifted an eyebrow and put his "sexy" face "just because I'm very sleepy" He turned off the light and the room became completely dark, the long black curtains covering the whole window didn't let any light come in.

Tobias muttered something under his breath as he approached the bed but I couldn't understand.

I wasn't really sleepy because I slept all the way, but my poor fellow was tired. After a few minutes, Tobias began to breath deeper and slower. I knew he was asleep and sighed.

I had never been to fall in love too fast, I've had two boyfriends but I can say that I didn't get to love any of them, which is weird because I met Tobias only a few weeks before and I knew them from long ago. But Tobias was special; he was everything I had wanted all along.

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**Guys! I couldn't leave you like that!**

**I like to believe that the flight lasted 8 hours or so and that they took a little longer to pick up their luggage and with the two hour difference it makes them to get to the taxi at 4:00**

**Thanks for your reviews, and see you in a few days!**

**PS: I added Peter to the story because I think it will be fun**


	12. Cleaning Away

The Perfect Bucket List

Chapter twelve: Cleaning away.

I got up from my bed, careful not to wake up Tobias and looked around for my bag. I grabbed it and left the room without making any noise. I loved his apartment and would help him clean up a little- I wouldn't be in his house without doing anything.

I collected the trash from the floor and furniture and swept the floor. The kitchen was behind a small wall. It was very large, had white walls and white wooden furniture. There where dirty dishes everywhere but even though I've always hated washing them, I would do it for Tobias.

Nearly two hours later the apartment looked shiny and I was proud of myself. Now that it was clean it looked more elegant, inviting and larger. I just needed to clean the room but that would be until Tobias decided to wake up. I grabbed my bag and pulled out my old diary to take a look at "the boy of my dreams". Tobias met all my expectations and even more.

I looked for a pen and crossed out "Ride a rollercoaster" ,"Get a tattoo", "buy a plane ticket to the first destination they have", "Run away from home" and "Live in London" from the other list. I couldn't believe I've had done all of those things already. All because of Tobias.

I believed in fate and that everything happens for a reason and was more than certain that meeting Tobias hadn't been a coincidence. There was a reason; I didn't know why… maybe God wanted me to fall in love before dying. Or falling in love had been on my own and he only wanted someone to help me with my list. Who knows?

I turned the page and found what I was looking for. The list of requirements that had to have the boy I would fall in love with. I smiled unconsciously as I read; it seemed that I had written it for Tobias.

I crossed out the first "pretty eyes (preferably, Blue)" Even the damn eye color he was right. Tobias's eyes were the most beautiful I had ever seen. "Will have a cute laugh, will make me laugh" I loved his laugh, the way his eyes narrowed, the small dimples on his cheeks, the way his mood changed. But over all of that… I loved listening to him, "Will be gentle with children" the way he was with his sister was the most beautiful and tender. He always made her laugh and couldn't stay angry with her more than a minute. I was sure that he loved her more than anything. "Will treat me nice… like a princess" When we were together I was the luckiest girl in the world. Before him, guys had never been gentlemans with me. Tobias treated me like a princess even though I didn't deserve it. "Will make me smile when I'm sad" every time he saw me gloomy, he did or said anything to make me smile, gave me words of encouragement and didn't leave me alone. "Will be tall" I crossed out that one too because Tobias was very tall- At least a feet and half taller than me-. And I loved that. I loved the fact that I felt safe when he hugged me. I loved the way our bodies connected perfectly- my arms around his neck and his behind my back- every time we hugged. I loved the way I had to get up in my tip toes to look him in the eyes. I loved how he kissed my forehead. I loved him.

I knew beforehand that a boy like him was really hard to find, and even more for a girl like me. And the hard part about those kinds of boys was that they usually only fell for perfect girls… and I wasn't nearly close to being like that.

I started drawing hearts and the name of Tobias across the page while thinking about those things that depressed me because I knew perfectly well that it was all true. I knew that someday Tobias would go with Rita and would tell me about her and the time they spent together. I knew he was in love with her or he was going to fall in love, I knew it because the way he talked about her was the way I wanted him to talk about me: With bright eyes, rosy cheeks and a smile of satisfaction on his face. If I hadn't felt the way I did with Tobias, I would have been happy for the girl, but at the moment I couldn't feel anything else than jealousy, envy and sadness.

That girl probably didn't know how lucky she was to have someone like Tobias in her life; I could bet she didn't know because she probably had a lot of boys in love with her. And knowing that hurt, it hurt a lot, because she didn't love him as he deserved to be loved and I did.

"God! What happened here?" Tobias muttered as he rubbed his eyes. I closed my diary and put it back in my suitcase. "Did you clean up?"

"No! Nanny McPhee came and cleaned up everything" I said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes and looked around.

"I don't remember seeing it so clean since I got it" He sat beside me "thanks for that, you shouldn't have done it all by yourself"

"Hush Tobias, it was nothing"

"Ok" He reached for me and put his arm around my neck, I moved closer and he kissed my cheek "Can you make me a sandwich?"

"Don't abuse" I hit his stomach gently. But honestly I couldn't deny him anything. I got up quietly and went to the kitchen, he didn't say anything, perhaps he didn't think I wouldn't do it, or maybe he just didn't want to ruin the moment.

Caleb was a wonderful chef and taught me to do some things so I could survive when he wasn't with me. I didn't complain the times he left me instructions for dinner because I've always thought that boys like girls that cook better than girls that don't. _A boy's heart is conquered by the stomach_, used to say my mom.

I made three sandwiches. I toasted the bread and put melted cheese inside, with ham and a Mexican sauce that was delicious. I just hoped Tobias would like it as much as I did.

"Here you go" I gave him his plate and he grabbed it with a smile.

"Thank you princess, I'm really hungry" Yeah, I noticed it when he gave a giant bite to one of the sandwiches and purred like a cat. He swallowed and attacked again, another giant bite. I was in a daze looking at him while he ate "God, this is exquisite, how come you never told me you do perfect sandwiches?"

"Oh, don't overdo it"

"Don't overdo it? All this time you were hiding from me the fact that you cook delicious, it's waste of talent not having you in the kitchen all day" He muttered while finishing the first sandwich and attacking the second one.

"That is very sexist"

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not sexist" He assured me. I couldn't believe he had finished everything. I bit my sandwich once taking my time chewing and savoring. Tobias was only staring at me. "Did you get mad for that stupidity?"

"Who told you I'm mad?" I asked calmly "I can be quiet sometimes without being angry"

"If you say so" He turned around and settled back on the couch to stare at me "It's seven o'clock, what do you want to do?"

"How about if we watch movies? I'm tired, tomorrow go out"

"You have the word princess, I have a couple of movies here" He reached down and pulled a box full of movies from under the coffee table. I wanted to go out, to go visit all the places I've always wanted to see, but being alone with Tobias was a better idea to me, I preferred to stay with him and watch silly movies, laugh with him and feel like his girlfriend. Yes, it was a stupid and pathetic to stay home just to feel closer to him, but I didn't care. I had no time to lose, I had no time for regrets, I would die and I wanted to spend as much time as possible with him.

**X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X**

**Hello!**

**Sorry for taking so long! I can't believe there are 86 reviews! You make me so happy (Thank you). I want to give special thanks to:**

**nalanarZ**

**lalalalalataz**

**EatonDauntlessCake4610**

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**alina702**

…**and everyone else for reviewing! I love you, without you the story has no future.**

**You know the routine:**

**From 87- 90 I'll update on Sunday**

**From 91- 94 I'll update on Tomorrow**

**95- More I'll update in a few hours**


	13. Misunderstandings

The Perfect Bucket List

Chapter 13: Misunderstandings

That night we watched movies until dawn. Although most of the time we were talking, it was the most special evening I've had in a long time.

I loved being with Tobias, I loved being in the city where I always wanted to be, it was a nice feeling. I didn't want to think about Caleb during the time I was there, it sounded selfish but I didn't care. I wanted to do what_ I_ wanted, not what _he_ wanted.

I made sandwiches for dinner-apparently Tobias was happy with that- and he accompanied me while I prepared them. He told me that his mother was a professional chef and always wanted to teach him how to cook but he was too young to learn.

I loved the fact that he was open with me to tell me such things, he had told me he never talk about his mother with anyone, that it hurt too much to remember, but that he was very confident of me. We decided to turn off the TV to have dinner on the balcony of his room. One day he told me that the Big Ben looked great at night and he wasn't lying. It was an amazing view: the lights illuminating it and the sky turning from yellow-orange to pink and purple tones in one of the early winter sunsets of the year. I couldn't feel happier.

We turned off all the lights and sat on the floor watching the Big Ben -a full moon was appearing in the sky- and talking about deep things. He asked me to tell him about my parents and I told him everything. For me, they were the best parents in the world and didn't deserve what happened to them. I couldn't help feeling mourn with my head buried on his chest, remembering. He tenderly stroked her hair, leaving me to cry everything out.

After that, I asked him to tell me about his parents, all I knew was that his mother died and that he didn't maintain the best relationship with his father. I didn't think he trusted me enough to tell me something so personal, but he sighed heavily, popped his knuckles and looked me in the eyes.

"I lived in a house with my mom in the central part of London" he began "My father was supposed to live with us but I never saw him and when I did he… bad things happened when he was home" He grimaced. "I don't remember seeing him around, just on my birthday or my mom's, in Christmas and important events. He always got home late at night or didn't got home at all.

"He always had the same excuse: work. And I always believed him, I always I imagined him sitting at his desk in an elegant office with thousands of papers and stuff around him; I admired him for working so hard and for being a man so dedicated until I discovered he didn't care about me or my mom and did what he did. I was only eleven when I knew he had like twenty lovers, and that he spent more time with them than with us.

"My mother was the wife, the one that went with him to the parties and meetings, the one that had his name and appeared in magazine covers, but the other ones had him most of the time, I only met one of them, the most important I think"

"How did you know about her?" I asked shocked. It would be good for him to talk about it.

"One time he took me with him to his work, he left me with his secretary Lucia, a young woman of about twenty, I was with her at the reception while he did what he had to do in his office.

"One day a woman came, she was thin and tanned, beautiful and young. She asked Lucia for my father and she reluctantly let her walk in- it was obvious she didn't like her. She went with my father and I wanted to hear what they were talking about. I went to the bathroom that was right next to his office, stood at the sink and listened through the air duct what they were saying:

"'Jeanine, sweetheart, what a nice surprise' said my father with a tender voice I had never heard in him. She laughed and I heard they were kissing, 'I have another surprise for you, Marcus… I'm pregnant' her voice was soft and made me think she was smiling. I heard nothing for a few seconds. "What happens, Marcus? Aren't you excited to have a child?' 'No!' He screamed angrily 'I have a family and you told me you were taking the pill!' 'I'm sorry; those things are not secure Marcus'

"That was the last thing I heard, someone knocked on the door, I got down, left the bathroom and told everything I had heard to Lucia, she was left in shock and told me everything about this woman, she warned me not to tell my mom, that it was something _norma_l that happened between adults and she didn't have to know. I listened to her and didn't say a word to my mom but I stopped seeing my father as I saw him. As I grew up, the hate for him grew with me, I couldn't understand why my mom if she was so sweet, could be with that son of a bitch. Since I was little, my father used to hit me all the time, actually every time he got mad, but as time passed it got even worse. He used to hit my mom and lock me in the closet until he got back from work..." I gasped for air and suppressed the need to cry. That sounded so awful. "Don't worry, it was until I was fourteen, until I could defend myself and stop him from doing it.

"After that, my mom got pregnant of Ashley" He stopped for a moment and took a deep breath. I stroked his arm so he knew I was there for him "the doctor told us that Ashley had settled badly in her stomach and that he would have to make a very risky operation to prevent both of her deaths" His voice was cut and a couple of tears ran down his cheeks. I cried in silence, it was distressing to see him mourn.

"The doctor kept my father and me in the recovery room, he was worried and I prayed every minute so that everything went well. After a long time, a fat doctor came out to tell us without much tenderness that mom didn't survive the birth, only Ashley" He shook her head and cleaned the tears away with his hands, which didn't help much because as he wiped the tears, more came out "my mom died and I couldn't believe it, the most important person in my life was gone ... I hated Ash for a while, I thought it was her fault that my mom died, but then realized that she had no fault. It was a miracle that she survived. I started loving her more than anything in the world.

"My dad blamed my sister and didn't take care of her at all. When he wasn't in the house hitting me, he was with her lover. I couldn't hate him more. He never behaved like a father to me and less with Ashley, so I've always been like his dad" He smiled wistfully "When I turned eighteen he bought the apartment and I lived with Ash for a few weeks until my Aunt Margaret, sister my mom, called me and said he wanted us to go live with her. I was happy but my father objected, I remember the words he yelled at my aunt on the phone 'stay with the brat, do what you want with her, but Tobias is my only child and he will keep everything I have so you won't take him away from me' it was a miracle that I got him to let me travel with Ashley to the USA, I said I would return in less than a week" I laughed and turned to look directly into his eyes "But then I met you and stayed more than I should… I've had a few fights with my father on the phone."

"Really?" I asked between incredulous and happy.

"I didn't want to go away from you" We both smiled and stood in silence for a few seconds. He still had wet eyes. I approached him and wiped his face with my hands. He moved away from me ashamed and wiped his face with his shirt.

"I've cried a million times near you" I murmured looking at him with narrowed eyes. He snorted and looked at his wristwatch.

"It's four in the morning. Aren't you sleepy?"

"Yeah, kind of" I admitted. He got up and wiped his pants, stretched his hand toward me and helped on my feet "Where is the bathroom?"

"It's the doo next to the closet" I grabbed my pajamas and walked there, opened the water faucet of the tub and waited a while until it was full as I undressed. I was so ridiculously happy for what I Tobias had said, he stayed in USA for me. That was something very good wasn't it? There was a small chance that he liked me.

My smile disappeared the moment I stared at myself in the mirror, how could even think he might like me? I was not ugly, but I wasn't beautiful either.

My bond hair was always messy and tousled, my nose was flat, small and my lips were big. I had no green or brown eyes, but horrible blue ones too big for my face. My skin was a little tanned. That Rita was blonde, probably with sweet creamy skin. My body was too bulky, I had big breasts and a big ass, so I didn't complain about that, but I didn't like it much when I saw myself naked, I was like a cow. I sighed with my self-esteem on the floor and got into the tub.

"Tris, did you drown or something? You've been two hours in there and the sun is already coming out" said Tobias, lightly knocking on the door. I was so relaxed that I decided to ignore him and leave my head leaning back. "Tris seriously, if you don't answer I will come in"

_Yeah right, as if he dared to do that_. My body was so relaxed that I didn't have the strength to get up. Tobias wouldn't come in because he wasn't like that, he would respect my ...

"What's wrong with you?!" I shouted and sat in the tub when Tobias suddenly came in. And now he was frozen in the doorway. Damn! He saw my entire chest and the worst thing is that I couldn't react until a few seconds later. I hid myself in the water.

"Sorry" Tobias murmured and left the bathroom. Hell, hell! I was so ashamed. What would Tobias think now? Besides that I stood there as if I had the most beautiful breasts in the universe. I groaned and dried myself slowly. I didn't want to get out of the bathroom but had to do it someday. I put on my pajamas consisting of trousers with mustaches everywhere and a white blouse with a mustache on its chest. I took a deep breath and left the bathroom at a slow pace. If I was lucky, Tobias had failed to see anything. Well, considering that his gaze was right there, the most obvious thing in the world was that he had seen everything.

The light was already off, and the only thing that lit the room was the bathroom light, Tobias was already in bed, perhaps even asleep.

I sighed and turned off the light, not quite seeing anything, I was so uncomfortable and nervous that I threw myself into the bed and for my good luck -sarcasm- I fell right on top of Tobias, causing a cry of pain to leave his lips.

"I'm here" He muttered hoarsely, I rolled into bed and I lay down beside him. What else could happen?

"I see" I said after an uncomfortable silence. We remained silent staring at the ceiling. I knew he wasn't asleep because his breathing was agitated, and he moved restlessly in the bed every two seconds.

"I'm sorry I came in" He apologized a few minutes later.

"It's okay… but you didn't see anything ... right?" I asked fearfully, although I already knew the answer. He stayed silent for a few seconds.

"I would like to tell you I didn't but I'd be lying… I did" He left me with an open mouth and cheeks burning "I think that ..."

"Don't say anything" I cut him off "Let's forget what happened okay? You didn't see anything"

"Ok" He replied. I sighed and relaxed a little. I wouldn't make a complete drama just for that. I was just his friend anyway and a misunderstanding like that wouldn't change that.


	14. London Everywhere

The Perfect Bucket List

Chapter 14: London everywhere.

"So?"

"The following things are ... very silly" I replied without looking into his eyes. I wasn't paying attention to him because of the beautiful view we had from his balcony. London was definitely one of the greatest places on earth. I took a deep breath and filled my lungs with London's fresh air.

"Just tell me"

"Later ... Now we have to go for a walk" I got up from the floor and held out a hand for him, he grabbed it and rose with my help. I sighed as we left the department in silence. We arrived at the reception and still didn't say a word.

"We'll have to take a taxi because my car is still in USA"

"Let's walk" He didn't say anything for a minute "We have to exercise buddy, look at these runny arms" I teased him, pinching his strong arms.

"That's not true, I'm very muscular" He lifted his arm and showed me his muscles. I laughed.

"Of course _The Rock_ but we'll go walking"

"I don't want to" He murmured "Everything is far"

"Okay, then don't come" I started walking. I knew he wouldn't leave me alone.

"You are mean with me" he complained as he walked beside me. I smiled and put an arm around his waist.

"You always say that but it's not true" He chuckled and put his arm around my shoulders.

"What happens is that you know you can do whatever you want with me"

"You don't have another option" we laughed "Does it rain a lot?"

"All the time, why?" He asked. I remembered the next thing on the list: "having a romantic dance in the rain" of course I wasn't going to tell him because he would feel uncomfortable. We were friends; we couldn't have romantic dances. Well, that's what _he_ thought.

"Only wondering, by the way, where are you taking me?"

"I don't know; want to go to the big clock?"

"To the Big Clock? Of course I want to, but wait, do you have a camera?"

"No, do you want to buy one?" I was about to say yes but then I remembered that it would be of no use to take pictures. He seemed to understand me and didn't say anything when I shook my head. Did I tell you how safe and comfortable I felt with his arm around me? I didn't want that moment to end. And not because I was a psychopath or something but because anyone who saw us would have thought we were a happy couple. And I liked that, because it seemed that London was a machine of pretty girls. All of them stared at Tobias, but who won? Me! He was hugging me and not them!

We walked the streets of London embraced in a comfortable silence.

Everything was beautiful: The streets, buildings, telephone booths, landscapes, red trucks like the ones that appear in Harry Potter, even the air felt clean.

And although from the department the Big Ben looked close, we had to walk for about 20 minutes to get there. My heart started pounding in my chest. We were one block from the Big Ben and I was in a dream. There were people taking photos everywhere, it was so beautiful that you wanted to capture it forever.

"It's so beautiful!" I cried when we were close.

"Excuse me" A girl called our attention, she was blonde, tall and beautiful and a camera hanged around her neck "you make a beautiful couple, do you mind if I take you a picture? It's for a cultural magazine"

"Oh, well ..." I was going to refuse and tell her with all the pain of my heart that we weren't a couple, but Tobias interrupted me.

"Thanks and no, we wouldn't mind at all, in fact we were regretting not bringing a camera" He answered with his angelic smile that charmed everyone. She laughed softly.

"Here is your salvation!" She walked a few steps back and pointed at us with the camera. Tobias removed his arm from my shoulders to pass it gently around my waist. I smiled as I felt his touch and turned my gaze to his face. I smiled happily until a flash advertised me that the photo had been taken, I didn't even have time to turn around.

"How did it go out?" Tobias asked still holding me. We walked a few steps toward the girl. She stared at her camera and grinned.

"It's a beautiful photo!" She exclaimed and showed it to us. I wanted to die of embarrassment for a few seconds. Tobias came out perfect, smiling at the camera like a model, but I was looking at his face and smiling like a fool "You look so cute!"

"It's cute" I murmured "Will you publish it?"

"Of course, would you be so kind to tell me your names?"

"Tobias Eaton and Tris Prior" he said. She wrote it all in her cellphone.

"Thank you so much, the magazine will come out this Saturday" She announced pointing at the café across the street.

"Thank _you_" I smiled. She waved her hand and left. "I'm hungry"

"Me too, let's go there" We walked to the café, got in and sat at a table against the wall. Everything was made out of glass, so we could see the whole monument from inside.

"Did you like the clock?" Tobias asked.

"Yeah" I sighed and my eyes filled up with tears "thank you, thank you very much"

"Thanks for what?" He asked confused. I turned around and looked into his eyes. That guy was a fucking angel "Why are you crying honey?"

"It's just that" he got up from his seat, sat down beside me and hugged me affectionately. "What Happens? You know I hate to see you cry. Do you feel uncomfortable here? Want to return to USA?"

"No" I sobbed in his chest "I love you, Tobias"

"I Love you more" He answered while he rubbed my back. "Don't cry for me, there is much Tobias for everyone"

"Stupid" I got up and hit his arm softly "It's just that if it weren't for you I would probably be crying in my room. Without blood in my body and without having fulfilled even one thing on my list, thanks to you I'm living the life I always wanted and I will always thank you for that"

"Thanks to me you're living the life you always wanted" He repeated with a smile "and you'll keep living this life so you have to tell me what's next on your list"

"What are you going to order?" A waiter asked us.

"Two cappuccinos and two slices of chocolate cake" The man wrote in his notebook.

"In a moment I'll bring you your order"

"So?" Tobias asked as the man left.

"You know skateboarding?" Tobias nodded with a smile "_learn to skateboard_ is the next thing on my list"

"Amazing, then tomorrow we'll go to the park and I'll teach you"

"Why not today?"

"Because today we'll go buy you some clothes"

**X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X**

**Glow! I have three Announcements:**

**I want to answer the question everybody wants to know: Will they get together? Yes, they will. But I have to remind you that the name of the story is: The Perfect BUCKET LIST and it is about how Tris accomplishes everything in it. A lot of things have to happen before they get together, if I make them get together now the story won't make sense. **

**I have bad news: Since I went back to school, I have a LOT of things to do (homework, socializing with my old/new friends, more homework, books to read from school, books I want to read, etc.) So I will only update on Saturdays and Sundays ): (I promise you won't get less than 2 chapters a week)**

**When Tris says "I love you Tobias" She means it as LOVE but when he answers "I love you more" He means it in a sense of friendship.**

**I will give an advanced chapter of the story to the reviews number 100, 105 and 110 so review!**

**Thank you…**

**Post you tomorrow!**

**Arlie. **


	15. Wandering

The Perfect Bucket list.

Chapter 15: Wandering.

After a few minutes of animated chit- chat with Tobias the waiter came with our order. The cappuccino was delicious although I burned my tongue several times and Tobias laughed at me for that. It was the best coffee I had tasted in my life. I was a caffeine lover, so I could show off a bit of my knowledge of good coffee.

The cake definitely won the award for best cake in the world.

It was chocolate with chocolate with more layers of chocolate on the top. Apart from the thousand calories, it sounded super yummy. Tobias told me he had come here several times just to eat cake.

We left the cafe and walked around a bit to hail one of those red buses with two floors. We got on the top and I felt like a little girl. We had a little tour around the city, I paid attention to everything that the fat, bald man was saying and tried to ignore the damn cold I started to feel when the bus went faster. I hugged myself and rubbed my body a little.

"Are you cold?" I nodded and turned around to see Tobias. He took his jacket off and gave it to me.

"Thanks" I put it on hugged myself again. Not out of cold because the jacket was warm, but to simply have his aroma throughout my body. I knew Tobias knew the city like the back of his hand, and maybe the tour was too boring and uninteresting for him but despite that he had a tender and sincere smile all the time. There wasn't fog in sight even if it was still early in the morning. The bus darted to the river and we saw the Tower Bridge. Across the river we could see the London Eye (a Ferris wheel on the banks of the river). I watched everything with boiling amazement.

When the tour was over we went downtown. Tobias was determined to buy me clothes and even though I felt a little dependent on him, I couldn't help the shopaholic instinct that came over me when I saw the stores. The clothes were fantastic.

We went to ten stores and in all came out with more than one bag. Tobias was bored after ten minutes and complained every two seconds.

"Let's go, we'll come back tomorrow" He asked wearily, leaning on a store shelf. He was carrying all the bags "Please, I'm tired"

"Okay…" I rolled my eyes "Wait! Look at this dress, isn't it beautiful?"

"Yes, too bad we are leaving now" He began to walk out.

"It's the last thing I try on" I walked to the dressers with the blue dress on one hand. I heard him complain behind me.

The dress ended up above the knee. It was tight on the top and had a blown skirt. Half the back was naked, so I couldn't close the zipper myself. I walked out with a smile.

"It's a beautiful dress!" A girl exclaimed. She had dark brown skin and eyes, was tall, with long slender legs, a willowy frame and short black hair. "You look gorgeous in it"

"Thank you" I smiled. Tobias turned around and stared at me "Can you close it for me? I can't reach" I turned my back to him and waited until he zipped it. He didn't. "It doesn't come up"

"Are you serious?!" I asked alarmed. I heard people laughing behind my back.

"No, I'm kidding, you're not so fat" He scoffed and zipped it up. I turned and glared at him "I've always wanted to do that"

"Ha…ha…ha" I laughed sarcastically "It was so funny it will give me a trauma"

"You're American right?" The tanned girl asked me.

"Yes…" I smiled "I'm Tris and this bad friend here is Tobias"

"Nice to meet you, I'm Christina" I kissed her cheek and she approached Tobias to do the same thing "I think I've seen you before"

"Yeah, I think that too…where do you study?"

"Monttemery" She answered "second year"

"Me too, but I finished last year, I guess we saw each other in the halls or something"

"Most likely" She turned to me with a friendly smile "Are you here for vacation?"

"No, uh ... Well yes" II answer undecided. She laughed.

"Tris! I'm very tired!" Tobias complained for the thousandth time "Do you want the dress?"

"Are you gonna buy it for me?"

"Only if you promise that we'll leave now" I went back to the dresser and I pulled out the dress. I liked it but didn't know where the hell I was going to use it. I got out with the dress in my hand. Christina was on the phone and Tobias was leaning against a wall with his eyes closed.

"You are really exaggerated" I called for his attention. He opened his eyes and stared at me.

"We've been shopping for three hours! And you're not carrying the bags"

"You offered yourself"

"It was nice to meet you guys, but now I have to go, my mother is out" Christina said.

"Nice to meet you too" Tobias and I said at the same time.

"I hope to see you again" She said. "Will ya give your number?" I smiled and gave it to her. She said goodbye shaking her hand and left the store. We paid the dress and walked out in search of a taxi. I took a deep breath before listening to Tobias's complains since we got into the cab until we left the elevator.

"And I'm also thirsty" He finished his list of sorrows "You have the keys"

"Yes" I looked inside my bag. While Tobias was leaving the bags in the room I decided to serve him some water to see if he stopped complaining. I screamed as loud as I could when I saw a guy coming out of the kitchen. He just stared at me.

"There's a burglar here!" I shouted again. Tobias came running and started laughing at us. The guy was confused and I was even more. He was tall and handsome, with dark, brown skin and dark brown eyes. His smile looked white against his bronze skin. He had brown hair and a snake tattooed behind his ear.

"Can you explain me what is happening here? And thank you for alerting me you were back, I was so worried about you and you were more than happy with your little girlfriend! I feel cheated and hurt, and apart from that I had to take care of your hairball beast"

"Uriah, shut up! Where is my Kimmo?" Tobias started looking for his pet. I wished it were a dog, I hated cats.

"I have no idea; it must be hanging around destroying things. You owe me an armchair! You're beautiful cat destroyed mine with his claws." He complained. He had a cute accent.

"Cat? Why did you never told me you have a cat?" I asked, frowning. Both boys turned to see me.

"You don't like cats or what?" Tobias asked me. I shook my head repeatedly "Are you kidding? Everyone loves cats!"

"Not me" Uriah and I said at the same time.

"Because you're weird, Kimmo come here, daddy is here"

"Since this rude person didn't introduce us I'm afraid I will have to do it myself. My name is Uriah and you must be Tris right?"

"Yes, how do you know?" Both of them exchanged glances and I felt uncomfortable.

"Tobias told me about you, he called me when he remembered he had a best friend, which I have to say it were only two times"

"Oh, so Tobias told you about me" I laughed foolishly. That was good, right? Yeah, I was totally sure it was good "I hope it were good things"

"Oh, of course it were good things ..."

"Yes, yes, yes" Tobias interrupted him. He was carrying a gray cat in his arms. It had yellow eyes that seemed fake, was fat and ugly. "She's Kimmo, isn't she beautiful?"

"No, she looks fake" I answered watching the cat with disgust.

"She is really grumpy and doesn't like to be touched" Uriah snorted and showed me his arm full of scratches.

"If she does that to me I'll kick her" I warned Tobias, he left Kimmo on the floor and the cat disappeared down the hall.

"What are you doing here?"

"I can't come or what? I came for food for your thing with legs and will stay sleep here because my aunt came to my house and I don't like her.

"Wait, does the cat sleep in your room?" I asked and Tobias nodded "In your bed?"

"Yes Tris, it won't kill you overnight, if you want to I'll put her on my side so it doesn't disturb you"

"You already sleep together? Damn man, you're faster than I thought ..." Tobias coughed loudly, as if he had choked on something and his face turned completely red "Are you okay?" When he recovered he shot Uriah a glare

"The other room is occupied by your things you moron and I couldn't let her sleep on the floor"

"Oh, then you aren't ..."

"No! Tris, what if you look for a movie? And you come with me, little piece of…" Tobias ordered. I went into where he had obtained the movie yesterday while they went to his room to talk about things I was dying to hear.

Will he tell Uriah that he likes me? Or is he going to tell him to stop saying so much crap? I hated staying with doubt.

I found "I am Legend" one of my favorite movies and put it on to start it when they came in. And for some reason I couldn't help feeling anxious, because I felt they were talking about me and really wanted to know what they were saying.

**X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X**

**Hi!**

**Uriah and Christina are here! I thought that with Uriah the story would have a good twist!**

**Update at 8! Only if there's more than 105 reviews! I have homework.**

**Arlie!**


	16. I swear I want to kill her

The Perfect Bucket List

Chapter 16: I swear I want to kill her.

He released me and walked straight to the girl faster than you could say "Damn Rita". She lunged toward him dropping her umbrella and hugged him as if he had just arrived from the war. I didn't felt jealous but my heart twisted in my chest and inevitable tears ran down my cheeks and mingled with the rain. Their embrace looked so tender and I almost obliged him to dance with me. _Hell, it hurts too much. _I thought. And there I was, walking like a damn lonely mushroom in the rain while they embraced tenderly.

And although Rita was all wet when they approached me, I couldn't deny that the girl was beautiful. She was very tall (like Tobias) and thin. Her eyes were blue and looked beautiful even if they were narrowed for the rain. She could be a model and I looked like a wet dog. A cold, crying, dripping dog.

"Tris, she is Rita, the girl I talked to you about" I smiled and got closer to kiss her cheek. _Maybe the girl isn't that bad, maybe she doesn't even like Tobias._ I said to myself.

"You told her about me? You're so sweet honey" She giggled like an idiot. I was stunned and Tobias just smiled uncomfortable "It's a pleasure to meet you… girl"

"Me too" I replied with anger. She picked up her umbrella and covered herself.

"You looked... cute….playing in the rain like little children, but what if we go to a place where it isn't raining" She said with disgust.

"Sure, we were going to the skate park, want to join us?" Tobias asked.

"Ummm….you know I hate that place full of brats, lets we go to a café" Tobias hesitated for a moment before turning around to see me.

"Is it okay if we go tomorrow?" He wondered shyly. I gritted my teeth and nodded wordlessly. "We're going to the Café Miró, here in front"

"Sure, don't think you are forgiven" Little princess grabbed the umbrella, covered Tobias with it and walked away with him, leaving me alone behind the pair of giants.

"Why would you have to forgive me?"

"You left when ..." She turned around to see me. I was engrossed in their conversation "…our relationship was just beginning, you said you would only be out for a few days and it took you a month, I missed you so much"

"Oh, Rita… about our relationship ... I told you that ..."

"Yeah, I know" What? What the hell did he tell her? "Why did it take you so long?"

"I ... What happens is that Ashley didn't want to be alone with my aunt and I had to stay so she could get used to being there"_ But then I met you and stayed more than I should…_ yeah right! damn liar! And I believed him like an idiot.

We arrived at the café and the waiter looked at us with disgust for a few seconds. After taking three cards he directed us to a table. I sat in an armchair and Tobias and fox girl in the other. They began a conversation that I really wanted to ignore. I never felt like a bad third, even with Liam and Isabella. They understood that I felt uncomfortable when they kissed so they controlled themselves. But Rita was holding Tobias's arm and stroked him suggestively as he talked and laughed, forgetting completely about me.

_We are nothing but I like her a_ _little_. He told me once when I asked about her. Nothing? God damn liar, if they were nothing she wouldn't have called him _honey _and wouldn't have been touching him like she was doing in that moment. And she said it herself, their relationship was just beginning. I felt so stupid in that moment and hated Tobias so much that I wanted to run out of there and go to my country, to my home, with my brother. But I couldn't because I had no money or courage.

Tobias's cell phone rang, interrupting the conversation with his girlfriend and he answered.

"What happened Uriah? No, we're in a cafe ... Yes, with Rita, I know, I know! Shut up, do you think I'm an idiot? But..."

"Tell him to come" I spoke for the first time since we got there. Tobias stared at me strangely "please"

"You want to join us?" Rita changed her expression to an annoyed one "I know you don't get along very well but Tris wants you to come, I don't know, Café Miró, yeah, that one"

"You like Uriah?" Rita wondered with a giant smile when Tobias hung up. I hesitated.

"Do you like him?" Tobias repeated with an alarming tone. Both stared at me with wide eyes, Rita with a big smile and Tobias with an angry face.

"Ummm, no" I replied uncertain.

"Oh, of course you like him; you would make such a cute couple. Can you imagine, Toby?"

"No" If looks could kill ... Tobias would have to go bury me right now because I was being murdered with his eyes "do you really like him?"

"No ... Well…I think he is very handsome" I accepted and Rita laughed. Tobias turned around and began talking about anything with her-again forgetting me. The waiter brought what we asked and Uriah finally arrived.

**X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X**

**Bitchy-ruining- relationships Rita is here!**

**Muahahahaha! Hoped you liked it. I'll update in a few minutes. If I don't I promise a next chapter will be up tomorrow at 7:00 am.**

**Review! **


	17. I am lost

The Perfect Bucket List:

Chapter 17: I'm lost.

I wiped the tears from my face and took a deep breath, I didn't want to cry for something so stupid, I had to start being strong once and for all and not fall apart for anything that happened in my life.

_*Flashback*_

"_You were right when you said it rains a lot!" I laughed as Tobias and I ran to the building of his apartment. We were mile away from it and a thick rain fell upon us. _

"_Are you going to tell me why you are so excited about it?" Heat and color ran up to my cheeks and the rain felt cooler. It reminded me of when I was little: I had a fever and my mom made me take a shower with cold water. _

"_Because…" I couldn't tell him about the romantic dance. I had to think of something fast. "Because I've never… In a long time I haven't been out while it rains" My chest started to hurt because of the running so I slowed my pace as we were about to cross the door to the huge building. He stopped out of a sudden and I almost fell. "What?"_

"_If in a long time you haven't been out while it rains… why don't we do it now?" I didn't understand the meaning of his words until he grabbed my hand and walked with me to the park across the street. "What do you want to do?" _Great!_ I thought. _I have an opportunity.

"_Have you ever danced in the rain?" I asked slowly. I didn't want to say it. He shook his head as I stood on my tiptoes and put my arms around his neck. I could tell he was confused… and uncomfortable. _

"_Tris I…" He grimaced and hesitated for a moment before placing his arms around my waist. Time slowed down as we danced and for a moment I thought he was enjoying it too. I stopped after a moment, grabbed his right hand and walked with him toward a poodle a few yards away from us. He was too distracted to see what I was about to do._

_I jumped in the poodle like I used to do when I was six years old. He didn't do anything for a few seconds, just stared at me with a puzzled look on his face. He smiled one of his playful smiles and jumped in the poodle like I did. We played for a few minutes until we were completely soaked…. And then the devil appeared._

"_Toby!" A blond, tall girl standing in the sidewalk across the street screamed as if Tobias were about to be run over by a truck or something. His gaze shot up to the girl, a huge grin appeared in his face and he walked past me to meet Mrs. Giraffe. _

_*End of flashback*_

Tobias walked inside the room after a few minutes and I rolled on the bed with my back to him, obviously I couldn't lock the door because it was his room and I didn't have any right to lock myself.

"Tris" He called me. When I didn't answer he sat on the bed and put a hand on my arm "…sorry"

"Why are you sorry Tobias?" I asked, trying to control my temper and not scream "Are you sorry for having lied about Rita and about why you stayed in USA? Are you sorry for ignoring me all the damn time to be with your ... to be with that girl? Are you sorry for being a complete idiot? Speak Tobias! Why are you sorry?!"

"Everything… I didn't lie about anything, Rita ..."

"Yes you did and now leave me alone" I interrupted him and closed my eyes.

"You are behaving like a little girl"

"That's what I am no? That's what your damn giraffe girlfriend said, now leave me alone and get over it ... You didn't have any reason to lie to me. Why didn't you tell me from the beginning that she was your girlfriend? If you had told me since the beginning I wouldn't have ..."

"You wouldn't have what?" He asked confused. Thank goodness I shut my mouth before saying something else. I sighed and buried my face in the pillow. Tobias was silent for a moment. "Do you like Uriah?"

"Are you really asking me that?!" I raised my face and looked into his eyes, he was really asking that "What if I like your best friend?"

"Nothing, It's just ... I never thought you would like someone"

"God! I'm not a lesbian or asexual or anything. And if you haven't noticed: I'M A GIRL! It's more than obvious that I have to like someone!" I shouted "You are such an idiot, a liar…"

"Stop insulting me!" He screamed and I froze. He had never screamed at me. "All you do is think about yourself, you are so selfish, what is your fucking problem? Sorry if I ignored you, I spent nearly two months without seeing the girl I like, sorry if I wanted to talk to her after spending all that time alone with you, but of course you always want everything to happen around you"

"Sorry" I whispered with my eyes full of tears. It was too much. "You're right, forgive me"

"No, you forgive me for yelling at you" I nodded without looking at him "Are you okay?"

"Yes... I'll just go out for a minute"

"You want me to come with you?" He offered. I shook my head wordlessly and left the room holding out tears. I took the elevator at the end of the hallway and stayed away from the man that was inside.

"Are you going to the lobby?" He asked and I nodded without looking up. I walked to the small park I went with Tobias the day before and sat on the stem of a hidden tree. When I was there I covered my face with my hands and began to cry.

Yes, I was selfish and just cared about myself and my feelings but what about Tobias's feelings? I had to think about that too, maybe he really loved Trisha and I was just thinking about what I felt for him. Maybe Trisha really loved him and behaved like she did with me because she was jealous. I had ruined their reunion.

It was impossible not to feel miserable when I remembered the words he said to me "sorry if I wanted to talk to her after spending all that time alone with you " Just with me. Didn't he appreciate the time we spent together? Did he think of Trisha when he was with me? It was sad to discover how little he cared about me.

"Are you okay?" A voice I recognized asked from the distance. I lifted my face saw the girl from the store standing in front of me "Tris?"

"Christina, hi" I wiped the tears from my face and tried to smile "I'm just having a bad time"

"What happened?" She wondered. I needed someone to vend over and Christina seemed to be someone I could trust so I decided to tell her everything. She sat beside me and listed to me attentively, I told her everything since I went to the doctor and said I was going to die until my little discussion with Tobias. When I told her about my illness she couldn't avoid some tears and when I told her of my list she just laughed.

"I think you fell in love with him too fast but I can't blame you" I lowered my gaze "I was in love with him for two years and couldn't stop myself from falling into his charms"

"Really?" I asked amazed it "but ..."

"Don't worry, I'm over it" She looked into my eyes and smiled "is just that he's too sweet and attentive, no girl can't help falling in love with him ... I don't know, It's kind of a stage every girl goes through"

"But you guys weren't friends in school were you? Because in the shop it seemed you had seen each other a couple of times"

"When I enrolled in Monttemery Tobias was a sophomore and his group had to go to go with us and socialize, Tobias introduced himself and we talked for about half an hour, I liked him since I saw him and since he was so sweet with me I just fell in love, I always saw him from afar and ran into him in the halls on purpose" She stopped for a second and laughed "I feel pathetic now and I understand your hatred for Rita, you should have seen her nose before the plastic surgery, she looked like a witch"

"And I said it didn't look natural" We laughed "They have known each other for a long time?"

"No, she came here in third year with Tobias and was always behind him, I hated her since I saw her… she is always so superficial and hollow"

"I don't understand him. He always says that he likes simple and nice girls and I suddenly see him with that!"

"What happens is that Trisha is a bitch and since Tobias is a man he gets carried away. She had sex with him on the first date!"

"What?" I asked breathlessly. I had never thought about and didn't expect to find out he wasn't a virgin that way.

"Don't tell me you thought Tobias is a virgin, he has an angel face but also has his side..." I shook my head.

"I never thought about it but I assumed he was a virgin and ..." I sighed "They aren't even dating!"

"They only have casual sex I guess" she shrugged. "I hope that Tobias will hold out his desire because I wouldn't like to be in his apartment if she arrived and ... you would have to put something in your ears"

"For my own innocence" We laughed "Are you a virgin?

"No" She answered after a few seconds. Her face was covered with crimson "I lost my virginity to my boyfriend when we were five months. Are you?" I nodded "Sorry if this sounds rude or anything but ... Do you think you will die a virgin?"

"I don't know" We were silent for a few seconds. Another issue that I hadn't thought about "I guess I will because I don't think I will find anyone and have the confidence to do that" Her cell phone rang and she read the message.

"I have to go now because I'm late"

"It was great talking to you, I needed to vent over" She stood up and said goodbye to me with a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll be here for whatever you need; I will send you a message so you save my number"

"Okay" She crossed the street and I lost sight of her.

I sighed and started to walk back to the apartment, it was dark and I was getting scared. I talked to Christina for so long and it opened my eyes: Tobias was not a virgin and well, he was eighteen and I wasn't expecting that he'd be a saint but ... I don't know… finding out was shocking.

I walked a few feet into the building and just when I was at the entrance I saw a familiar gray cat with yellow eyes.

"Kimmo?" I asked the cat as I approached her. The cat saw me and showed me her sharp teeth, and then left the building faster than a flash.

I should have let her go, but I didn't.

She ran between several streets and I didn't put attention to where I was going, just to keep her in sight, I ran as if there was no tomorrow and my lungs were closing up, my head began to spin and suddenly my sight was blurry.

The cat climbed a tree; I took a deep breath and tried to calm my head but it was throbbing and making me dizzy. I hadn't experienced anything like that before so I couldn't do anything but hope that I didn't have an asthma attack- I hadn't brought my inhaler. When I composed myself, I looked around and realized that I had no idea of where I was.

"Damn" I muttered. I looked at the cat perched above the tree and cursed her in silence. She seemed to hear my thoughts and decided to make myself a little more miserable. She got down of the tree and I approached to grab her but she was faster and ran away from me once again "You won't do this to me stinky hairball"

I didn't know where I got the speed from but I ran and bent down to grab her. Bad idea. I didn't calculate well when I took Kimmo in my arms and fell rolling on the wet floor. I scraped my legs and my right arm.

I stayed lying on the dirty floor of an unknown street, imprisoning a cat that scratched my arms as I held her. I began to cry with despair and stood up trying to remember the way. Tobias would surely be furious and desperate and I didn't know what to do. I opt to walk out of that street and act normal.

I saw by far the Big Ben and had the great idea to walk towards it and probably since I had been there would remember the way back home. I walked between streets hoping to get to the clock soon. The cat scratched me, I was dying of cold and my legs bled, anyone who saw me could have swear I was a crazy homeless lady. I didn't know if London was a safe city but hoped so. When I reached the place where the girl took the picture of Tobias and me, I realized that all the way instead of having paid attention to the road I was fooling with Tobias. I didn't have an idea of how to return.

I sat on a bench and held Kimmo. I couldn't breathe and my legs ached, my head hadn't stopped throbbing and I was lost in London.

Pretty luck of mine.

**X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X**

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**118 reviews! OMG!**

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**I know some of you are confused about the end of chapter 15 and the beginning of 16 (what happened between them? Is there a hidden chapter? Something inmportant happens?) No, I put it as a flashback because nothing interesting happens, just the romantic dance.**

**See you next weekend, have a nice week.**


	18. Yes, I'm crazy (For you)

The Perfect Bucket list

Chapter 17: Yes, I'm crazy (For you).

I felt something licking my cheek and jumped awake with a terrible back pain. Sunrays hit directly in my eyes and I closed them tightly. I was holding on to Kimmo and apparently she liked me now because she started licking my face again. I sighed and lay down on the bench again. If I cried for every bad thing that happened to me I would spend the rest of my life crying. I was a bad luck machine.

"Tris!" A frightened- known voice shouted. I raised my head and saw Mrs. Adele- the owner of Cadillac Jacks- standing a few yards away from me.

"Miss Adele!" I cried as I stood up. And it wasn't until then that I felt the cold and shivered. Why the hell didn't I get lost with a pair of jeans and a big coat?

"Honey, are you okay? God, tell me you're alright" She walked closer to me and was left with an expression of shock when she saw my legs and arms. The blood ran through my legs and dried off, my arms were scraped and looked like self-injuries, my eyes were swollen and my lips certainly matched the cold "God, we have to go to a hospital! Will, Will come here now!"

"no ... no ..." I stammered trying to explain that although I was dying of cold, hunger, back pain, a headache and felt dirty as trash, I was perfectly fine and didn't need to go to a Doctor . But before I could say anything a boy ran toward me. He was about the same height and age of Tobias, had a cute dog in his arms and was startled to see me "Adele, I swear I'm fine, I… yesterday I was chasing this cat, I fell, got lost, panicked, came here and fell asleep"

"Are you sure you're okay?" The guy asked me with concern and when I looked into his eyes I remembered he was the boy who was always at the gate of the restaurant. "You look…"

"Horrible I know, I've been wearing these clothes since yesterday and I got all bloody and I'm very hungry, but I made these by myself" I grabbed Kimmo with one arm and she didn't do anything to stop me, apparently she started to like me with the beautiful and passionate night we spent together. With my free arm I pointed my legs "The ones in my arms were made by the cat when I tried to grab her, seriously, I'm lost but I'm fine"

"But ... What are you doing in London?" Adele wondered with concern. I smiled and gazed at the floor. I liked that feeling; it was as if she were my mother.

"I ... Do you remember Tobias? The guy I introduced you to the last time I went to eat waffles?"

"Oh, yes. Are vacationing with him?"

"You could say I am" I shrugged "He is probably worried about me right now"

"I'm sure he is" said Will "Don't you have any reference to where you live?"

"It's a building and yes…" I turned around and tried to search it with my eyes "there is a park next to it and there is also a water font with angels and ... The building is beige and ... There is a statue outside of a naked man with an angel on his shoulder" I said recalling the strange statue.

"Oh, you're lucky, we live there! Let's go before it gets late"

"Thank you very much Mrs. Adele"

"Don't thank me dear" She smiled and we walked together to a nice car. Will opened the back door for me and I felt relief when I felt the soft seat in my back. Will sat on the right side of the car and I remembered that the cars were like that in London, another thing that had always seemed so awesome, and I remembered that Tobias's car was normal, like in my country. I was petting Kimmo all the way; she surely was as hungry, thirsty and cold like me.

On the way Adele made me a thousand questions, she wasn't sure of my safety at 100%. I discovered that Will was his grandson and they had decided to return to their city because they missed their family.

"Oh, here it is!" I exclaimed happily when Will parked in the parking lot of the building. We entered; they greeted the goalie and we got on the elevator.

"What Floor?" Asked the man I had seen yesterday, he stared at me for a few seconds, as if remembering that yesterday I seemed a depressed spirit and now I looked like I just got out of a horror movie.

"13" I replied, with my gaze on the floor.

"15" Said Will. We stood in silence until the door of the elevator opened on the 13th floor. I kissed the cheeks of Adele and Will before leaving "Don't hesitate to visit us for anything"

"Thank you so much, seriously; I hope to see you soon" The door closed I noticed that there was only one apartment per floor. I put Kimmo down when I knew she couldn't escape again, and knocked on the door.

"Tris!" Tobias exclaimed as he opened. I could see he was tired, _poor thing_. He lunged at me and hugged me stronger than ever "sorry, sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you, you know that I love you and I don't think you're selfish"

"It's ok, Tobias" He got away from me and closed the door. He was going to say something else but stayed watching me from head to toe as if he was staring at a ghost.

"What happened to you?! What did you do? You're okay? Do you want to go to a hospital?" He asked as he took my face in his hands.

"Don't worry, I'm okay"

"But you're all bloody! I knew I shouldn't have let you go alone but I thought you'd come back quickly and then you just didn't and I got scared and ..."

"Tobias, calm down, I scraped my legs but I'm fine" I interrupted him because the truth was that when he talked too fast just didn't understand him "I'm going to take a shower and right now we talk about it alright?"

"Are you sure you're okay?" He insisted and I rolled my eyes. I wasn't in the best mood and he was making me mad.

"Yes! I'm sure" I said almost in a scream. He stared at me and looked hurt.

"You're still mad at me right?"

"Just leave me alone for a moment. It's okay that you worry about me but I spent all night on a bench, dying of cold and hunger, I just want to go to take a shower" Before he answered I walked to his room and sighed. I took off my blouse and walked to the bathroom. Even if I wanted to relax, I couldn't use the tub because I was too dirty to get in there.

I opened the water faucet in the shower and undressed. I had never felt so dirty, not even when I did this challenge with Liam and Christina to see who lasted longer without bathing. Of course I won; I lasted two weeks without even touching the water. But I guess the win felt great because I was 10 years old and didn't care much about being clean.

I lingered nearly 40 minutes in the shower feeling the warm water run through my body. When I was calmer I realized that Tobias had no blame for anything and I had behaved rudely with him when he was just worried about me. I left the room more relaxed in my pajamas and socks. Tobias was at the door picking up a pizza that smelled really good, my stomach did a superhuman noise when the aroma reached my nose and both boys turned to me making me blush. Tobias paid, closed the door, walked up to me with pizza in hand and I felt like a lion watching a sensual deer. I wanted to eat it all.

"Are we going to the balcony?" I nodded and walked next to him. Tobias put the box between the two of us and opened it to give me a piece dripping with cheese. I could almost feel the saliva build up in my mouth. I started to eat and tried to control myself so I didn't look like an animal "Are you still mad at me?"

"Tobias, I didn't get upset with you" I clarified once and for all. Okay, I was angry, but not with him.

"Then why did you leave? No… a better question would be: why didn't you come back?"

"If I tell you you'll laugh" I shook my head as he chewed his pizza "what happened is that I left because I was angry, not with you but with myself because you were right…I'm selfish, I want everything to happen around me and ..."

"Listen, what I said about that wasn't true, I just said it because ..."

"Shut up, let me finish" I laughed "I am selfish, you know why? Because I'm going to die and I won't fight against that, if I have to die, I will die" Tobias grimaced. The issue was so delicate for him as for me "But anything in my life has ever been around me, I always thought about everyone else before myself and it was time to start worrying about me, but anyway, I went out to get some air and I found Christina…. the girl we met in the store and we were talking, I think are good friends now"

"Are you changing me?"

"Of course not silly" I grinned "Good… when I was coming back I saw your cat and when I approached her she ran and I ran behind her"

"Why did you run Tris? You could have let her go. At some point she would have to return…you have asthma and the doctor said ..."

"Tobias! I know but I did it either way, I didn't have an attack or felt bad at all" I lied "The fact is that I ran very fast and bent down to grab Kimmo and went flying like in a Jackie Chan movie. I scraped my legs but held on to your cat and because she hates me, she began to scratch my arms…when I realized I was lost I happened to go to the Big Ben to see if I remembered the way back but I didn't and since I liked that place, I sat down on a bench and fell asleep as a homeless lady"

"You slept there? God! From now on you have to always go out with your cellphone. Got it? It could have gone wrong, you were lucky"

"I just told you everything that happened to me and the only thing you say is that I was _lucky_?"

"Bad things happened to you but could have been worse, you're alive aren't you?"

"But not for long" I sighed.

"Well, how did you got back?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"I found Mrs. Adele, the lady of the waffles, remember?" He nodded "I found her and she brought me here… she actually lives on the 15th floor"

"Good, I was about to report you as lost" I didn't doubt that Tobias could be that paranoid. "And I'm sorry I canceled you to go with Rita …" Why did he have to mention the damn skinny Giraffe?

"Don't worry, I get it, you like her and missed her, we can go another day"

"Umm ... Sure, when you want to go just ask me" He put away the empty pizza box and got closer to hug me "because I love you very much"

"I Love you too" I whispered. _But not the way you do._


	19. Skating Sucks

The Perfect Bucket List

Chapter 19: Skating sucks.

I woke up that day with the arms of Tobias hugging me tenderly and squeezing my body, I could feel his calm breath on my neck, and on my back his chest was rising and falling as he breathed. At the time, I, more than I never wanted to turn around and kiss him without fear and wake him up with an "I love you".

When I met him, I never imagined we would end up being such good friends and even if I appreciated him as a friend, I didn't want our "relationship" to be just that, two friends that love each other and then she dies. I wanted to at least be his girlfriend or something like that.

I loved him so much that it was quite scary. I wanted to wake up in his arms every day, I wanted to be his woman and him to be my man, I wanted to spend a lifetime with him, to marry and have children, but even if I wanted all that, nothing would ever happen. I shouldn't have been thinking about marriage and children because I was only 17 years old but when I was with Tobias, the only coherent thought that my mind could process was that I loved him and that I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life.

I sighed and tried to remove the strong arm that imprisoned my waist, but when I lifted it, the boy growled and hugged me harder, making butterflies appear in my stomach. I moved back his arm and managed to get out of bed. I lifted the blinds and let the room fully lit. Tobias didn't felt anything, he slept like a log.

I walked closer to him and watched his ace. Tobias was sometimes sweet and other times he was sexist even if he didn't want to admit it. He was like a small child and at the same time as a mature man. He was a perfect combination.

His face was so beautiful that I couldn't help but raise a hand and stroke the mole close to his lips that were half open, watch his lashes- they were so long that when his eyes were open they touched the skin under his eyebrows- and stroke the hair falling on his forehead. I gazed down to look at his body. The only thing covered by the blankets was his leg. I looked everywhere feeling like and perv and returned my gaze to his body. His strong arm that was hugging me a few minutes before, his square back, his shoulders…. I thought of telling him to stop sleeping with boxers and less with those transparent ones. I had never seen a guy's butt the way I was watching Tobias's, but it was so round and well-marked that I couldn't stop myself from staring at him. I also couldn't accept that I wished that "something else" was showing off, but that part was hidden between the mattress.

I wanted him but he obviously didn't look at me the same way.

"Tobias wake up silly" I said as I moved him side to side. He growled and shifted in the bed "remember we have to go early so you can teach me how to skateboard and we have to have breakfast and then I will tell you the next thing on my list because it's something crazy and maybe you won't want not help but be I'll say it anyway"

"Tris" His voice was hoarse "I didn't understand a single word of what you said, let me sleep a little more"

"No, it's too late, if you wake up now, in the night I'll massage you"

"Last night you didn't want to" he complained with eyes still closed "Now I don't want any massage"

"I'm not playing Four, wake up" I ordered with a hard voice making Tobias open his eyes. I had never used his nickname. They called him like that because he used to use glasses.

"Okay drama queen" He sat on the bed and rubbed his face as he yawned "You never let me sleep well. In the night you kick me and in the mornings you yell at me" He frowned.

"I don't kick you in the night you liar"

"Yes you do, you have karate complexes or feel I'm going to rape you or something" Tobias laughed and got up from the bed "Where are we going for breakfast?"

"I don't know, wherever" I grabbed some clothes from the desk and walked into the bathroom. I put on gray pants, a white blouse with weird drawings, a yellow jacket and the sneakers Tobias had chosen for me the day we went to buy clothes. I let my hair down and put a little make up on.

When I got out, Tobias was ready with his skateboard in hand and we left on a taxi to a very nice restaurant near the skating center.

Even though English was spoken in England, I still had to adapt to many different customs from the ones I had in America. The typical "American" breakfast of a pastry and orange juice was replaced with boiled tomatoes, extra thick bacon that looked like ham, and eggs. We had breakfast quietly and walked to our destination. I was a little nervous since I had never been good at sports; the only time I stood on a skateboard I made a fool out of myself and didn't want to repeat it again. We entered and for my misfortune it was full of people.

"You said that no one came in the mornings"

"I don't read peoples mind, beautiful" He grabbed my hand and pulled me down to a tiny ramp.

"You're not going to make me climb _that _are you?" I asked scared.

"Of course not" He set his skateboard in front of me. I climbed and put my hands on his shoulders for balance "in fact it's very easy, all you need is balance and going without fear of falling" He pulled away making me loosen my arms from his body and remain standing with my arms outstretched "Put your arms down"

After half an hour of trying to make me advance at least a few feet without falling, after all the laughter and scolding ending in more laughter, I finally made it and the fear started to leave my body, the hard part would be for him to teach me how to turn around.

"This is so cool!" I exclaimed excitedly, Tobias had a hand around my waist.

"All you've done in half an hour's go in a straight line without falling" He muttered exasperated.

"Shut up Four, I'm doing well" He laughed at the tenderness and insistence of his best friend.

We spent two more hours there, I managed to go in a straight line and spin a little, I fell several times but nothing serious and nothing too embarrassing. Tobias did some tricks on the ramps; he was too good at it. We were also approached by some friends of Tobias, they introduced themselves and we talked for a few minutes, they said I was giving my best on skateboarding and applauded.

"Perfect!" Lynn said and I laughed because all I had done was go several feet and ride around.

"Well, what if you get on a ramp?" Marlene opined.

"I don't think she's ready for that" Tobias cut in.

"Don't underestimate her man; I'm sure she can do it" Said Al.

-Yes, I can do it" I decided. Tobias grimaced, he didn't underestimate me but he neither wanted me to get hurt. The ramps were big and I was delicate.

"Then do it" He supported his friend with a tender smile "but be careful, okay?"

"Go up to that one" I nodded and climbed the stairs of the smallest ramp until I was above it "man is she your girlfriend?" Al asked.

"No" Tobias answered "She's my best friend"

"What am I supposed to do when I go across?" I asked and Tobias climbed the other side.

"I will hold you" He said. I sighed more confident, I knew that Tobias wouldn't let me fall and it couldn't be that hard, I just had to leave my knees bent "put the skateboard like this" He showed me how. I nodded and took the skateboard as I was told, I was about to jump from a height of four meters relying on a board with wheels.

I took a deep breath, walked a step forward and threw myself up front, but in a way that none of the boys had ever seen before. I dropped to the ground as if I was about to jump off a cliff and fell on my right arm, I didn't even slipped into the wood.

**X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X**

**Hi hi hi!**

**I want to thank Purplemockingjay4 for her review and tell her that yes, this is my story, it sounds rude but when you are reading a book you don't tell the author "Hey, can you please make them get together now?" NO! Next chapter you'll understand what I'm talking about, Tobias's POV next chapter.**

**Arlie**


	20. I love her (Surprise chapter)

**The Perfect Bucket List**

**Chapter 20: I love her**

**TOBIAS POV:**

With a movement Tris made we ended up being face to face on the bed. The sun came in through the window and stared directly at her face. It took me only a second to stare at her big bright eyes, her pretty little nose covered with almost invisible freckles, stare at her red-fleshy lips that always called me to kiss her. She was stunningly beautiful, and when I returned my gaze to her eyes, I had to admit she wasn't only beautiful on the outside, but she was the most tender person I've ever met, the most selfish one but also the most abnegated, she was smart and brave and awkward and was the most special girl for me…. and she would die in a few months.

I didn't want to think about it because it was heartbreaking, seeing her eyes fill up with tears every time I met one of her desires and hearing her say it was because of me encouraged me but really made me think about her illness. And yes, I wanted to be like Caleb and have her locked up in hospitals until someone discovered a cure or a solution, but I couldn't, because I wouldn't let her die without fulfilling each of the things on that list. If she died happy it would be worth all the pain.

I bit my lips and stopped myself from kissing her although it was the only thing I wanted to do. It would be unfair for me; I couldn't let my feelings for her grow even more. A kiss was a kiss, there was always love on a kiss, sometimes you fell in love with a little one and I didn't want to fall for her. I wasn't going to let that happen.

I put my hand on her cheek and kissed her nose; she looked me in the eyes and smiled.

xxxxxxxx

"You're crazy and you're going to get me in trouble" I said as I paid the fluorescent paint that the beautiful girl wanted for her mural. She smiled, showing her teeth and hopped excitedly. She was like a little girl.

"You are the crazy boy that does everything I tell him" I smiled because it was true. I grabbed two pots of paint and Tris grabbed two. We left the store and let the cans on the floor to open the trunk of Uriah's car and save them there.

"Do you have an idea of where we can do it?" Tris asked on the way to the apartment.

"Yes, it's the perfect place" I started thinking that maybe wasn't that perfect. It had been almost a year since the last time I went "or not"

"Where is it?"

"In a park near the house where I lived before, there are walls we used when we played" I smiled at the memory "It would be great to see them just as I remember them"

"We won't know if we don't go"

"Today?"

"It would be better tomorrow don't not you think? Today is a perfect day to watch a nice movie, play video games, drink coffee and do nothing more, I've had enough action for today"

"Alright chief" I laughed as I remembered the way in which she threw herself. At the time I was scared, but now that I thought about it, it was very funny. I let out a louder laugh and kept laughing "It seemed that you wanted to kill yourself, crashing on the floor with all your desires, you just jumped!"

"I didn't do well, I didn't even got close to doing well" She started laughing with me and her laugh was so fucking weird that it made me laugh even more. And although the fall wasn't so funny we were laughing all the way, because her laughter made me laugh and backwards "Stop laughing, my tummy hurts"

"It's your fault, you laugh like a donkey" She glared at me but said nothing because she knew it was true. We finally got home; she threw herself in the sofa, took of her sneakers and sighed. "Do you want to watch a movie or play something?"

"Let's play, I want to beat you again" I laughed falsely. I always lost because she cheated, she distracted me or ... I didn't know what she did, only that she cheated.

But any way it was the coolest in the world to have a girl like Tris to play and eat anything with me, I could talk to her about so many things, not only clothes or shoes, she would laugh at my jokes and I would laugh of her although she was the worst. It was so great that even if she cheated, I always let it go and enjoyed every second I had her just for me.

Tris brought popcorn and soda and I put everything together so we could play comfortably. And so we spent the night playing and eating junk food, we fought because her victories were obviously not worthy. When we got bored of playing, or _I _got "bored" because the cheater wouldn't let me win even once, I put a movie and we snuggled on the couch with the lights off. Her back was on my chest; I had my arm around her waist and with my free hand was stroking her long silky hair. Not even half the movie had passed when she fell asleep. I sighed and continued stroking her hair; I started thinking about Rita and her short stiff hair. You could say I liked her a lot, way before I met Tris; but the truth was that the only thing I liked was that she gave me all the sex I wanted when I wanted it without saying anything or asking for caresses or love, I wasn't romantic and pampering girls wasn't my thing. I hated having to endure when I talked with her about her likes and when I went shopping with her, we didn't have anything in common than sex. But that was fine; she was pretty and very good in bed.

With Tris it was different. When I met her in the park that day, I was attracted to her and liked the way she treated my sister and played with her, I laughed at her jokes and enjoyed talking with her. The next day when I found her in the tree and she told me that she had a terminal illness I felt like a bucket of ice water was thrown over my head and then made the mistake of telling her that we could go to have breakfast. It was a mistake because I talked to her and realized that time went flying and I felt comfortable being myself. Later we became friends, then best friends and I couldn't deny that I liked her. Because Damn! I wanted to know if there was a man on earth who could resist that sweet blond girl:

Her likes, her way of thinking and seeing the world, her clumsiness, craziness, her screams, her weird laughter, her weird list, her beautiful face and perfect body, I liked everything about her. But why did it have to be so hard? I didn't think she wanted to think about ... Love. And I didn't want to miss her kisses and caresses, I preferred to stay away to avoid suffering.

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**Lalalalala**

**The thing they were playing was whatever you like: Chess, cards, Uno, Checkers.**

**You have to understand Tobias and be realistic, if you liked a girl and knew she would die and thought she liked someone else what would you do?**

**From 152-155 I'll update next week.**

**From 156-160 I'll update tomorrow or Sunday**

**160- more I'll update in a few hours.**


	21. Crazy for her

The Perfect Bucket List

Chapter 21: Crazy for Her

TOBIAS'S POV:

I woke up with a pain on my back and yawned, I was still sitting on the cushion with Tris in my arms. I sighed in pleasure as she pressed against my body.

"Did you wake up?" Tris whispered.

"No, and you?" I asked laughing.

"Let go of me then, you took seriously what I said about the Teddy bear didn't you? You didn't let go of me all night" I loosened my embrace and she stood up.

"Were you uncomfortable?" She shook her head.

"In fact your loose belly seems too comfortable for me" She mocked. I got up and was left standing right beside her. I loved that she was so small, it made me feel that she depended on me, that I could protect her,

"Are you saying I'm fat?"

"Apart from fat, giant"

"The real problem here is that you are tiny" I bent down and placed my face right in front of hers "but you're cute"

"Well ... You're ugly" Her cheeks turned a beautiful soft pink tone, her eyes sparkled and I couldn't deny that for me she was beautiful, more beautiful than many girls and perhaps the most beautiful I had ever met. With her tousled hair, her blouse with mustaches and my favorite boxers she adopted as pajama "Are you hungry?"

She almost ran into the kitchen and I went to my room to take a fast shower. I remembered my father and cursed a thousand times in silence when I remembered that I had to call him. I couldn't bear him screaming at me on the phone, seriously that man deserved someone to beat him and I would be more than happy to do it and I _would_ do it if I didn't depend on him. I didn't want to work, I really didn't want to. Just one year before I finished high school and my father gave me a year to "rest" and then I would have to go to college. I was too lazy to study and work and keep up for myself so I could stand the madman of my father a few years more.

I left the room and my stomach demanded food when I perceived the smell of waffles and eggs. Tris hated when I told her that she should devote herself to cook for the rest of her life but the truth is that she cooked really well. After my mother passed out no woman had ever cooked for me, even the girl who helped us in the house, because her food always tasted like cardboard and I preferred to eat something made by myself.

"Sit down at the table as civilized people do" Tris demanded placing two plates there.

"I like to eat in the couch" I complained just because I liked to fight with her.

"Then make your own breakfast and eat wherever you want to" She sat down and began to eat. I got up, sat beside her, and a smile washed over her face "you're like a child, struggling with you who would want children"

"I don't know why you complain if you are worse than me"

"So we are the same, you don't get tired of me and I never get tired of you?" She asked chewing; I frowned because that question didn't seem like a joke to me.

"Are you kidding?" I shook my head and looked her in the eyes "I could never get tired of you"

"This is going to be great, it will be so pretty" Tris was acting like a crazy when we got off the car and walked toward the walls that were still white and clean as I remembered them. We took the cans of paint out of the trunk and walked with them to the larger wall. Before opening an orange can I looked around to see if anyone was there because I was sure graffiti was illegal. Tris shoved her hands in pink paint and hit the wall helplessly. She looked beautiful when she was excited and screamed every two seconds.

I put my hands inside two cans and started painting with her, I drew odd things without form and she drew hearts everywhere. It was fun after all, painting and throwing paint at a wall that was once completely white and was now being bicolor. I smirked as I dipped my hands in yellow paint.

"Hey look…" I said to Tris. She didn't have time to understand what I was going to do until I cradled her cheeks in my hands causing her entire face to become yellow. "Yellow doesn't suit you"

"You idiot!" She exclaimed with her mouth open, she wouldn't stay with her arms crossed. She dipped her hands inside the blue can and before I could react threw it right in my face.

A paint war started and as we painted each other we also painted the walls. At the end we finished giggling like morons. I took off my shirt and Tris started writing on my back and then my chest. She dipped her hands in pink paint and with her full palm wrote in the middle of the wall in large letters "Tobias and Tris" my heart sank and I felt so good when I realized that all this time we've been acting as a couple, I had I been having a relationship I had always dreamed of with the girl I've always dreamed of. _With the exception of kisses_. I thought. Oh, I was dying to kiss those lips.

"Why are you writing our names silly? Do you want the police to catch us?" I joked when she finish decorating her creation with our names.

"No one will know it was us… but us" She shrugged "what if someone comes and wants to take credit for my mural?"

"Okay" I saw that there was still a lot of black paint, we hardly used it. I walked over, grabbed the can and just below our names I wrote "I love you" because I did. _Best friends love each other without having to be in love right?_

Tris walked a few steps backwards and watched the mural. I stood beside her and stared at the wall. It was beautiful; it had abstract shapes and weird drawings.

"It's beautiful!" Tris exclaimed excitedly taking me by the arm "when you grow up bring your kids here and say that your dead best friend made the world's most beautiful mural." I swallowed drily and closed my eyes for a moment trying to process the idea. Someday I would have to move on and continue my life without Tris. For some reason that thought squeezed my heart and made my eyes water. I took her by the waist and embraced her. I buried my face in her neck and inhaled her sweet perfume.

I didn't want to live without her; I could _never _live without her.

I took her to see my previous house and told a little more about my mom. She and Uriah were the only people I could open up to and talk about her. No one else had gotten a word out of me. I said it was because I respected her but the truth was that it hurt too much.

We arrived at the lobby of my building and took the elevator were we were in silence the 13 floors, but it wasn't an awkward silence. I had a hand around her shoulders and could feel her gaze on my face, trying to guess what I was thinking. When we arrived at the apartment I found the door open and closed my fists with rage. The only person other than Uriah that had the key to my apartment was my father. But even if wasn't ready for one of his sermons, at least Tris was there.

"Hi ..." My father greeted us when we walked in. He saw us up and down; I didn't remember we were still covered in paint.

"Dad…" I tensed. "This is my best friend Tris."

"Nice to meet you Sir" He approached her with a smile, a smile that made him see like a nice man, but he wasn't.

"Nice to meet you too beautiful" I cleared my throat before he said anything else and both turned to me.

"Go to the room please" I ordered Tris as I scratched my neck; I knew that the moment she disappeared my father would become the real, disgusting man I've known for years.

"Okay, see you later Mr. Eaton" She gave a smile that my father corresponded and quickly walked to the room.

"Is she your girlfriend? She's the reason you stayed longer in USA?" He asked with his typical cold tone as he sat in my chair and ran his eyes around the building "I don't remember seeing your apartment so clean; it was because of her wasn't it? You fell in love"

"She's my best friend didn't you hear me?" I clenched my jaw. There wasn't anything I hated more than him assuming things like a soothsayer.

"If I'm not mistaken, she's American" He stared at me "You brought her to live here didn't you? I don't believe you would let her stay in a hotel, and you're a man, we both know that friends don't exist"

"I said no!" There was a moment of silence where we stared at each other, but then I remembered that my father could kick me out if he wanted to and live me out in the street without a penny, it wasn't like he had compassion for me "Alright, at what time is it?"

He told me the time and address of the party he wanted me to attend, apparently it was of one of his partners, or maybe it wasn't, I didn't fucking care. He finally left and I walked to the room with Tris a few minutes later. She was able to get a smile out of me. I forgot a little about my father, but I still had to go to that party, and I obviously wasn't going to go alone having a beautiful lady with me.

"Tris, we are going to a party tonight"

"And why do you think I want to go? What if I refuse?" I stared at her and she contained a small laugh.

"I would have to go alone, you have to come with me, I still owe you a dance" She turned to me with a beautiful sparkle in her eyes. "What do you say princess?"

"You want me honor you with my presence tonight?" We laughed "And who is the host of this happy party?"

"Ummm, I don't really know, one of many parties of my dad's friends, they are always the worst but if I go with you they it won't be so boring, I will have someone to laugh with" Tris shot me a look. I kissed her forehead and we finished watching the movie.

It was already 10:00 p.m. and I was on the couch waiting for Tris to get ready. Half an hour later, I heard her screaming my name; I approached her and she again asked for help with the blue dress we bought a few days ago. I ran my hand through her back and felt her shudder. I finished, she walked around and turned around to face me.

She looked like an angel in that dress belted to the waist, her long hair loose as I liked it, high heels as if she was going to reach me and red lipstick. After a few seconds of staring at her, she approached me and looked at me with her beautiful eyes.

"I left you silent, do I look so ugly?" She pouted. I was more than sure that she knew well that she looked spectacular.

"Yes, horrible, dreadful, it hurts my eyes to see you" I smiled widely and approached her. I took her by the waist and pulled her body close to mine. I grabbed her face with my free hand and put my forehead to hers, I was inches away from her lips, those lips that I wanted to savor to the fullest and that looked so tentative with that red color.

"And aren't you ashamed that everyone will see you with me?"

"If they see me with the uglier woman in the world I don't care as long as it's you is you" I laughed without taking my eyes from her lips "The truth is that you look beautiful and you wouldn't believe me if I told you otherwise" We were like that for a few minutes, it was the best feeling in the world, she just smiled and looked me in the eyes, words were not necessary, it seemed that nothing could ruin the moment.

**X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X**

**I'm happy! Dunn dunn dunn, I think you are starting to see what I'm trying to do. I'm excited for next chapter and you should be too (Not that much).**

**Arlie**


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